The Hero We Don't Deserve And Definitely Don't Need
by Kream45
Summary: Izuku realizes that his mighty fists can be used not only to destroy evil, but also to explore dark rectal tunnels of his classmates's backdoor holes.
1. The First Fist

**/Hands down, this is the best title and description I've ever come up with, nothing compares. Also, how the fuck have I not written anything about Boku no Hero Academia yet, when #1 I watch that shit and #2 it's like the most popular shit right now. Guess I was too busy masturbating to black…**

 **Alright that's enough for the intro. Grab an apple, prepare some whipped cream, and enjoy this shitty-ass story./**

 **/PS: To that one friend who reads all of my fanfics and has no idea about this anime: Deku is Izuku's nickname. There, I saved you five seconds of using google, fucking piece of shit give me back my Aloe drink you greedy bastard./**

So it all happened on a single lunch break in U.A. Highschool. Izuku was inserting rice BALLS into his mouth, when suddenly, out of nowhere, unexpectantly (?), Ochako approached him and engaged a conversation.

"Hi Deku!" she said, "I heard you punched the shit out of another mofo on your way to school today, is that right?"

"Oh, umm, yeah… that happened." Izuku replied, blushing.

"So that means your fists are very strong, right?"

"Ahaha, if you say so!" Izuku creamed his pants a little.

"Does that mean you could easily fist anybody, right?"

"Uhh… what do you mean?" Izuku asked.

"You know, like, fisting people really, really fucking hard."

"Well, it's not like I want to cause too much damage to my opponent…"

"But I mean like, fisting people so hard that they want to die." Ochako said.

"Umm…"

"Like, fisting them so hard that you almost rip them apart, and they cry and scream, but you keep going deeper, and then you release the fist in one swift motion, dealing tremendous damage to the poor victim's bottom, leaving their gaping hole slowly close before your eyes, and then you start round two, and so on, and so on, until the painful pleasure from the victim's ass being destroyed causes them to release their love fluids simply everywhere, in every direction, like from a geyser?"

"._."

Ochako sighed.

"Nevermind. I gotta go, see ya Deku." She said and left.

Izuku's immature brain started processing Ochako's words and eye signals. Then, he finally understood, and his face got all red, just like his dick. He got up quickly and shouted:

"Ochako! Did you really just suggest that you want me to fist your ass?!"

He forgot, though, that the entire school could hear him.

After five painfully awkward seconds of silence, something very peculiar happened.

"Izuku, I must inform you that fisting your classmate is strictly forbidden in every school on the planet." Iida informed him, "However, double fisting is just fine. Nowhere in the law books is it said that you can't use both of your hands to fist your classmate. In that case, it's okay."

Everyone looked at Iida, and another five seconds of awkward silence passed.

"I mean, it's not like I've read that rule specifically, pfft!" Iida got embarrassed and shat his pants.

Then everyone looked back at Deku. Then at Ochako, who still couldn't believe that Izuku was this fucking stupid. I mean, he does look pretty dumb, but damn, that was absolutely retarded.

Izuku just realized he made a fatal mistake, and that his social life is over by now. There's no way out of this. He screwed up really bad. He FUCKED up. He might as well kill himself, cuz there was no way he would gain any friends after this.

"Hey, everyone, Izuku is going to DOUBLE FIST Ochako!" Kaminari shouted.

Everyone started laughing very, very loudly. But, only for like three seconds, because everyone suddenly realized that Deku, that wimp, is getting some ass, while everyone around was a virgin and they got zero ass or dick.

Everyone felt really down and started crying. Ochako used this opportunity to grab Izuku by hand and run away from the cafeteria.

When they finally escaped, Ochako bitchslapped Izuku.

"What were you thinking?!" she screamed, "Did it not cross your head that shouting those things out loud might destroy both of our social lives?!"

"I-I-I'mm v-very s-ss-s-s-s-ssssorry, O-Ochako" Izuku mumbled out.

"I'm so angry that I could actually kick you in the balls!"

Ochako sighed.

"And you know what? I'm actually going to do it."

"WHAT?!"

And then Ochako destroyed poor Izuku's poor balls.

The world started spinning in his eyes, Ochako melted away, and his face had a close contact with the floor.

 **Next day morning…**

Izuku woke up in the hospital wing. The doctor gave his balls a nice kiss and they got healthy again.

"Thanks, Recovery Girl…" Izuku said, still feeling down about the other day.

"Listen up, young man." Recovery Girl said, "I've got a very important lesson for you."

"What is it?"

"When a girl suggest that she wants you to fist her ass, the last thing you want to do is to shout it out loud in front of the entire school."

"Thanks, this is just what I needed to improve my mood, thank you. How about you tell me something I don't already know?"

"Something you don't know? Well how about that: If you keep being such an idiot, you will always have your balls destroyed by the opposite sex, and you will always have to keep coming here, to have your balls kissed by an old hag, just to have them healed and then crushed again."

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do?!" Izuku got very mad.

"GO THERE AND FIST HER GODDAMNIT!"

Izuku was surprised. Was this really the right way to solve this problem?

He breathed in and out. He had decided that he will go to Ochako's room, and fist the shit out of her until she dies.

"NO, you idiot!" Recovery Girl slapped him, "I know what you're thinking! You can't just go there and forcefully fist her to death!"

"Uhh, sorry…"

"Ask her, and THEN if she agrees, DESTROY her ass!"

With that knowledge, Izuku was prepared for everything. But he would still fist Ochako to death, even if she didn't agree. Izuku is not fucking around anymore.

He left the hospital wing and headed over to Ochako's whereabouts. He knew exactly where she was, thanks to his unusual smell sense. He could smell anything in 2 meter radius. Wait, what the fuck…

"Deku, where you goin'?" Ochako asked. She was right behind him this whole time.

"AAHHH! HOLY FUCK!" Izuku jumped, scared of Ochako's sneaky behavior.

"Lol, you're so awkward, Izuku." Ochako sighed, "I only asked where you're going and you're losing your shit already."

Izuku then calmed down, cleared his throat and looked Ochako in the eyes.

"Ochako." He started, "I was heading your way. I wanted to fist your ass."

"xD I'm sorry Deku, but your serious expression combined with what you just said is just too funny! I can't take it xDD Sorry, but this is too silly! Can we reschedule that fisting for tomorrow maybe? :) "

"._. bitch, I'm not taking 'no' for an answer."

And then, Izuku, that absolute crazy-ass nibba, grabbed Ochako, slammed her down on the floor, ripped off her pants and used his power to instantaneously push both of his fists up her ass.

Ochako tried to defend herself, but the moment the destruction of her ass began, she collapsed and gave it to the painful pleasure.

After ten hours of fisting, Izuku stopped the fisting. Ochako was drooling all over the floor.

"… I did it…" he whispered, "I FUCKING DID IT! I FISTED OCHAKO! No… I HAD A VERY INTIMATE MOMENT WITH A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX! I'M SO COOL!"

Ahh, Izuku, what a lucky bastard. Or is he…?

Because it turned out that the entire school was watching him all this time. Because he fisted Ochako in front of their classroom just before the lesson started. And it was evening now. And everyone watched all of that for the ten hours straight.

"Izuku, that was great." Iida gave him a thumbs up, "You actually listened to me and used both of your fists. I'm proud of you *sob* "

All the guys surrounded Izuku and asked the shit out of him on how he achieved that, and general advices on fisting. He didn't know what to reply, because he didn't know anything to be honest.

All the girls surrounded Ochako and helped her get up. They asked her how it felt, but they couldn't get an answer as well. Not because she didn't know, but because she wasn't able to speak.

That little incident got the attention of the teachers, parents, and the government. It soon was going to be the hot topic around the whole city…

 **To be continued…**

Quick QnA:

 **Q:** What are you trying to achieve with this story?

 **A:** Absolutely nothing. I've hit the rock bottom a long time ago, don't expect decent writing or even logical flow of events.

 **Q:** Are you aware that the characters in Boku no Hero Academia are 15 and you're just sexualizing teens?

 **A:** That makes it even better. Also, do you realize that they actually showed every girl character naked in the hot springs chapter in the show?

 **Q:** Smash or Pass *insert name here*?

 **A:** It's always smash, nibba. No matter what.

 **Q:** Are you retarded?

 **A:** Yes.


	2. Fisting Intensifies

**/This is hands down the best chapter I've ever written for any of my stories. Like for real. I'm amazed by my own talent. I can't wait until I become a professional writer. Hot bitches, fried chicken… everything I ever wanted.**

 **(This is how the life of a writer looks like, right? Please don't ruin my visions for the future.)/**

The principal was sitting in his desk, snorting coke. He was interrupted by Aizawa sensei.

"Mr. Principal, I have something to report." He said.

"You know it's 1 AM, right?" Principal got mad.

"Yeah, but you see… I was supposed to have a history class with class 1-A earlier, but guess what happened."

"Did one of the students accidentally set the entire classroom on fire?" the principal asked.

"Not this time." Aizawa sensei replied, "This time, one of the students started fisting one of their classmates in front of the classroom, blocking the path. Me and the rest of the class had no other choice but to watch patiently for ten hours until the fisting stopped."

"*snort* what the fuck are you talking about?" The principal coughed, "Couldn't you have just stopped that student from doing that?"

"Oh crap, that's right! See, this is why you're the principal, not me."

"Anyway, what is the name of that student?"

"Midoriya Izuku."

"That little shit?! HAH!" The principal cackled, "I can't believe it. Well, if that's true, you have to punish him. It's strictly forbidden to fist your classmates."

"But sir… he found a loophole… used the secret double-fist technique… we can't do anything about him."

"Hmmm… that makes it more complicated." The principal scratched his ass, "But we can still kinkshame him. Go to the local news station and ask them to make an educational news about how wrong it is to fist your classmates. Let them use Izuku as an example. That will teach him."

"Sounds fine." Aizawa replied.

"Just don't make a big deal out of this. Tell them to make a simple public service announcement, that's all."

In the morning, Izuku woke up in his room and yawned. He still couldn't believe what happened yesterday. He turned on the TV and began relaxing on his bed. That is, until he heard what they said on the news…

"In today's news: Midoriya Izuku, a student from U.A. High School, is a fisting master who will fist you like there's no tomorrow. This boy fists like a real motherfucker, watch out."

He scrathed his eyes and switched the channel quickly.

"People are scared of going out on the streets. The reason being the crazy student from U.A., Midoriya Izuku, who happens to be a master of fisting. He fists anything that moves. Stay safe."

He couldn't believe it. He switched the channel again.

"The children in Musufatu city didn't come to school today. Their parents are too afraid to let their children out, with Midoriya Izuku running around and fisting everybody."

He switched the channel yet another time.

"Absolutely insane U.A. student fists everyone on his path."

Izuku turned off the TV. What the fuck just happened? How did they find out? He felt really embarrassed. But, tough shit, life is life. He had to move on with it. He left his room and went to the classroom.

On his way there, all the boys were making fun of him.

"Hey Izuku, they said on the TV that you fist anything that moves, is that true? XD" Sero laughed.

"I can't believe that people are actually scared of going out because of Izuku XDD" Kirishima cackled.

Izuku ignored their annoying presence, because he knew that their moms gay anyway.

He entered the classroom, and noticed that every girl repositioned herself as far away from his desk as possible.

"Oh yeah, hehe!" Sero whispered in Izuku's ear, "The girls actually believe that you went out and fisted everybody around the city xD"

"That's bullshit, I haven't done anything." Izuku said and approached the girls, "Hey, what's up?"

The girls started screaming and cuddled up to each other.

For the entirety of the lesson, all the boys were sitting in the front, and the girls were hiding in the very back, surrounded by a wall of desks. Then the lesson ended.

"… alright, before you leave, I've got something to say to all of you." Aizawa sensei said, "As you might have heard, Midoriya Izuku fists everything on his path."

"HHAHAHAHHAHAHKNS FKJA DVJKSDNGOLSKDJNGOAAHAHAHHAHAAAA!" everyone started laughing. Except for Izuku, who was hiding his face in his hands. And except for the girls, who didn't know what was so funny about it.

"Anyway, I want to inform you all that this is what you get for double fisting your classmate. Ochako Uraraka is still in the hospital wing, unable to say any word. Her anus is THIS wide." Aizawa spread his arms, "Izuku, you are forbidden to leave this school until the situation calms down. Stay in your room and think about your sins."

Izuku felt terrible. What he thought to be his biggest success, turned out to be a bane for life.

He went to his room, locked himself inside and started masturbating to Wonder Woman hentai while crying. Truly, it was the most depressing thing you could witness.

Meanwhile, the other girls from his class went over to the hospital wing and visited Ochako.

(Motherfucking Author's Note: You won't believe how much time I spent analyzing which is the first name and which is the last name in Japanese. I seriously can't tell. I spent five minutes looking that up. Five minutes is a lot, you know. Enough for a quick fap. Umm, forget that last comment.)

"Oh, girls, you're here." Recovery Girl welcomed them, "Ochako woke up just a minute ago. She's still tired, but I think you can go and talk to her for a minute."

"Thanks, Recovery Girl." Mina smiled.

"Hey, by the way, wasn't Izuku here the other day?" Kyoka asked.

"Yeah, I heard Ochako smashed his balls and he had to come here." Toru added, "And he supposedly woke up just before he did… harm, to Ochako's bottom."

"Did you talk to him yesterday, Recovery Girl?" Tsuyu asked.

Recovery Girl blinked a few times.

"Pfft, no? No? No I haven't? What? What are you, gay? I haven't talked to him? Like, I didn't tell him anything? What is your problem? Duh? Pfft!" She said.

Then she evacuated quickly, before the girls had a chance to realize that it was also her fault.

The girls approached Ochako, who opened her eyes slowly.

"Ochako, how are you feeling?" Tsuyu asked.

Ochako blinked and looked at her.

"Ughhhh…" she moaned.

The girls were very concerned about her health, so that moan really scared them.

"I swear I'm gonna kill Izuku for what he's done to you!" Mina shouted.

"WHAT?!" Ochako suddenly got up, scaring the girls nearly to death, "Why would you kill him?!"

"Dafuq? Hasn't he, like, dealt tremendous amount of damage to your ass?" Toru asked.

"Yes, he did. But it was sooo good!"

The other girls didn't know what to say.

"He grabbed my ass with his mighty hands and forced them into my butt. It felt so good that I passed out from the pleasure!" Ochako explained.

"Umm…" all the girls were left speechless.

"Wait, you didn't actually think that my life was in danger, did you?" Ochako asked, "I mean, Izuku knew very well how to fist. He had led me to a near-death experience, true, but in the end, I achieved absolute nirvana and it felt like I was in heaven, smoking pot with JC."

After hearing that, the girls said goodnight to Ochako and went to their rooms in shame. Ochako stayed in the hospital wing to continue healing her anus.

When they entered their respective rooms, they immediately sat by their computer and opened up a Facebook group conversation.

 **Mina:** L O L (;ﾟдﾟ)

 **Kyoka:** xdddd

 **Tsuyu:** :v

 **Toru:** like dafuqqq?! I mean like how could we thnk that Izuku could do harm to Ochako?! Lol

 **Mina:** lol also wheres Yaoyorozu, I bet she's still in her room scared of Izuku xD

 **Tsuyu:** We should tell her that Ochako is fine and Izuku didn't do anything wrong.

 **Mina:** We'll tell her tomorrow xD I bet shes gonna have nightmares of Izuku fisting her to death again, lol xD

 **Kyoka:** I think we owe Izuku and apology

 **Kyoka:** an* fucking autocorrect

 **Mina:** brb gotta go take a piss

 **Toru:** thanks for sharing

 **Mina:** np :) brb

 **Tsuyu:** Alright, we should go to Izuku's room and apologize to him.

 **Toru:** I luv it when u write with proper spelling tsuyu :3

 **Tsuyu:** :)

 **Kyoka:** aight sick, so what? r we going to his room right now or when?

 **Toru:** wait for mina

 **Toru:** she in the toiklet

 **Toru:** toilte*

 **Toru:** toetlr* fuck

 **Toru:** TOILET* MOTHERFUCKERADFADFLKSNDGFLKSDMG:

 **Tsuyu:** lmao

 **Mina:** xdDDD alright I'm back

 **Kyoka:** sick, can we go now and get dis over with?

 **Mina:** lol wait

 **Toru:** for what? dont tell me you need to piss again

 **Mina:** when I was pissing I came up with a fantastic idea

 **Mina:** FUCKING let me finish, you saw that I was still writing goddamnit

 **Toru:** sorry :c

 **Kyoka:** lol Mina triggered

 **Tsuyu:** Hahaha!

 **Mina:** FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! now I havge to sttart over for fuckss ake

 **Mina:** when I was pissing I came up with a fantastic idea. I was thinking about what Ochako had told us, and I realized that we should try it too ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡ )

 **Kyoka:** LOL ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

 **Toru:** are you retarded?

 **Toru:** wait, dont reply. I already know the answer. (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** XDD Im not jokin

 **Tsuyu:** What do you mean? I don't understand.

 **Mina:** XDDD

 **Kyoka:** lol tsuyu

 **Tsuyu:** ?

 **Tsuyu:** Oh.

 **Mina:** XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

 **Toru:** XDD

 **Kyoka:** Tsuyu XDDD but actually I don't want to do this lol

 **Mina:** Screw you then :D Im going

 **Kyoka:** ugh…

 **Tsuyu:** I don't really feel like going, either…

 **Mina:** TSUYU you're going or else I will destroy you :c

 **Tsuyu:** Okay, I guess…

 **Mina:** ( 'ω')

 **Toru:** yolo I'm going 2

 **Kyoka:** do I have to…?

 **Mina:** yes

 **Toru:** you either go or ur gay :)

 **Kyoka:** *sigh* k then, let's meet outside

 **Tsuyu:** I'm going outside.

 **Mina:** :DD

 **Toru:** xD

And so they met in the hall. It was already late, so nobody was around.

"Alright, I have a plan, girls." Mina said, "It's so genius, you won't believe it was me who came up with it."

And then she shared her plan with everyone.

"Umm…" Tsuyu blushed.

"Lol there's no way we're going to do that." Kyoka stated her opinion.

"Mina, this plan is so retarded I can't believe any human being was able to come up with it." Toru added, "I love it! xD"

"Kyoka, Tsuyu, you have to believe me." Mina said softly, "This plan is EXCELLENT! And besides, nobody will find out!"

"Unless Izuku tells everyone…" Kyoka shuddered.

"I also think this plan is very risky…" Tsuyu stated.

"It's gonna work, trust me." Mina grinned, "Besides, Izuku will be so shocked he won't be able to tell anyone!"

And so the girls went to Izuku's room. Then they went on their positions, while Mina knocked on the door.

Izuku opened it. Mina got scared, because he looked like a total wreck of a human.

"Umm… hi! :)" she smiled.

"What the… Mina?" Izuku mumbled out, "You're not scared anymore?"

"No x)"

"… well, it's really late now, so… is there anything you need?"

"I just wanted to ask you one thing."

"Okay, what is it?"

"… wait, first, tell me, why do you look like a total wreck?"

"Oh, that…" Izuku just realized that his face is all red from crying and his pants are unzipped, "Well, I guess that might be because the entire city believes that I am a crazy guy who fists anything in his path, and my girl classmates believe it to be true as well. Also, all the guys in my class are makin fun of me, and my mother probably died from a heart attack when she saw my face in the news. Other than that, I'm okay, thanks for your concern."

Mina got very sad.

"Oh… well, I know just the right thing that might improve your mood!"

"Oh, that's cool. But what did you want to ask me?"

"Can you take a step forward and close the door behind you?" Mina asked.

"Umm, sure." Izuku replied and did just that.

Then Mina took a step to the right.

"Tadah!" she shouted.

Izuku could see Kyoka, Tsuyu and Toru standing along the hall, approximately three meters away from each other.

"What the hell?" Izuku said, confused.

"We wanted to test if you really fist anything on your path." Mina explained, "That's why I want to ask you to walk from here to the other side of the hall."

"Are you kidding me?!" Izuku got embarrassed.

"I told you this wasn't going to work." Kyoka said.

"No." Izuku said firmly, "I am going to do it. And I will prove to you that I don't fist anything in my path."

"… Actually, this whole setup is just a sexual innuendo." Mina said, "We actually want you to fist all of us."

"What?" Izuku was, like, very confused, and very embarrassed.

"Mina, don't say it like that… it makes us look like we're some hoes…" Kyoka said.

"Wait…" Izuku started processing the information, "So you say that all of you want to get fisted by me? Even Tsuyu?"

"Actually, I am still not sure about…" Tsuyu said, but stopped in the middle of the sentence, because Izuku already grabbed her and FISTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER ASSSSSS.

Seeing that, the other girls were like "HOLY SHIT" and formed a line.

After finishing Tsuyu, he dropped her unconscious body in a very brutal, yet masculine and macho-like fashion, and jumped at the other girls, who were excited and terrified at the same time.

Kyoka had her ass PLUGGED AND DRILLED like a motherfucker.

Mina's pink alien ass was absolutely obliterated as well.

Toru's invisible ass was annihilated on every possible level.

Izuku then gathered all of their unconscious bodies together and bukkake'd all over their extatic, oblivious expressions. Which wasn't very gentleman-like, but who cares. You can say it was a form of payment, for the service of drilling their asses like a motherfucker.

Nobody has seen any of this, but it was already morning when he finished. He bukkake'd five or six more times (he had a lot of load, that horny-ass nibba) and returned to his room, to change clothes.

Meanwhile, everyone else was going that way.

Izuku left his room, ready to attend classes, and then he saw everyone.

"Umm, Izuku… did YOU do this?" Kaminari asked.

"You know this is crazy? You're an absolute madman, Izuku." Kirishima said.

"Izuku, I am concerned. I don't recognize you anymore." Sero added.

They had serious expressions. They tried to act like real gentlemen, who would never destroy any girl's ass like that. And yet, they were diamond hard at the same time.

"Now, now, calm down everybody." Iida tried to soothe the situation, "Izuku clearly used both of his fists, therefore it's legal."

Izuku didn't know what to say. To be honest, he couldn't even tell what had happened to him. Just yesterday, he was the shyest boy in the entire school. Today, his fisting count was already at five. More than anyone's. Heck, everybody was still at the level of casually fapping in their rooms. Not this nibba. Izuku was like a beast. He just couldn't control himself, whenever an ass needed a solid FIST.

"Well…" he started, "I've fisted four girls almost to death over the course of the night, yes. So what?"

He didn't even realize it, but those last words came out very aggressive. All the guys got scared.

Izuku's testosterone level was peaking. He went to the classroom like nothing happened. On his way there, he was absolutely stunned by his own behavior.

 **To be continued...**

What is going on inside Izuku's organism? What will happen after the teachers find out? Also, what is the secret of his fisting technique? Is it so good only because of his power, or is there another factor?

Even I don't know the answers. I will try to end this story the best way I can. Meaning it will have SO MUCH FISTING that you won't be able to withstand it. After this is finished, you won't be able to look at your classmates without thinking about fisting their asses. This is what my stories do to people. They degenerate you, depriving you of what's human, injecting the most fucked up bullshit straight into your head.

Anyway, it took me like three hours to write this. Hope you popped a boner or two. Or if you're a girl (yeah, right), maybe you got, like…

I am not going to finish that, because I'm a gentleman.

Anyway, see you in the next one!


	3. Izuku Pushes It To The Limit

**/I really hope you like this chapter as well. Especially after those four hours I spent writing it. Yes, I put that much effort into my shitposts. I basically turn the shittiest plot ideas into works of art. My expertise is unmatched.**

 **But even with those traits, I still don't know why I don't have a girlfriend. Huh. I wonder./**

Later that day, Izuku was sitting in his room, thinking about his behavior. Just a few days ago he was a total loser.

He didn't have time to think about it much longer, because he noticed that the zipper on his pants got stuck, and his dick was sticking out.

"Fucking bitch-ass trousers, you piece of shit, fucking WORK!" he shouted.

And then he realized how vulgar he's become. It must have been connected to the fisting he's done recently. He decided to go to the workshop, to get his pants fixed.

Mei was sitting inside, working on some gadgets, when she heard Izuku's footsteps.

"Oh, Izuku!" she welcomed him cheerfully, "Good to see you!"

"Hi, bitch." Izuku said, and immediately bit his tounge for saying that, "Umm, I mean, good to see you, too."

"Hey, are you having problems with hormones?" Mei asked.

"Why the fuck do you think so, huh?!" Izuku replied in a very aggressive fashion. He was so shocked, he quickly apologized: "Oh my God, sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It is obvious that your endocrine system is not working correctly." Mei stated.

"How do you know?"

"I've heard that you fisted Ochako. And four other girls on the next day. And that you ejaculated all over their bodies. And now you came here, swearing like some black rapper. Also, you literally came here with your dick sticking out from your pants, rock hard."

Izuku looked down, and yes, his dick was actually rock hard.

"Actually, the zipper in my pants got stuck, so I thought that I'd ask you to repair it for me." Izuku explained.

"Oh. Well, that doesn't change the fact that your hormones are going crazy."

"Whatever bitch, just fix that already."

"Sure, sure, calm down." She said, while Izuku was punching himself for saying such things, "Take off your pants and throw them to that bin."

"Sure." Izuku said and pulled his pants down. But they wouldn't come off, "Umm, seems like the belt also got stuck… I can't take that bitch off."

"*sigh* alright, just stand still, I'll fix this on you." Mei decided.

She kneeled down to see what was wrong with the zipper, but she forgot that Izuku's DICK was right at her face.

"Could you… bend it a bit to the side while I'm fixing this for you? It's a bit embarrassing…." Mei asked politely.

"S-sure…" Izuku mumbled out and bent his dick to the side.

Mei grabbed a welder and sprayed fire all over Izuku's crotch.

"HOLY FUCK!" Izuku screamed, "IT'S HOT!"

"Stand still, and it won't hurt you." Mei said.

Izuku wore his pants a bit too high for Mei to be able to comfortably fix the zipper.

"Can you, like, get those down a bit?" she asked.

"I told you bitch, the belt is stuck, too."

"Bullshit, let me see that."

And then, Mei grabbed Izuku's pants and pulled down at least a bit. But she grabbed him by the ass, which made Izuku DIAMOND hard, causing his dick to bounce off his hand, slapping Mei in the face, causing her to lose balance and set fire on Izuku's pubic hair.

"OH MY GOD!" she shouted, "I'm so sorry!"

"FUUUUCK IT'S SO HOT!" Izuku started twitching and wobbling, trying to put out the fire on his pubes, but the fire has spread too much.

Knowing that he must save his dick from getting burned, he did the only reasonable thing he could do to save his crotch. And that was to thrust his dick into shocked Mei's mouth, down to the balls.

He also came inside, though completely by accident.

Then, when he felt that Mei's mouth put out the fire from his pubes, he took out his dick. Mei tried to catch her breath, because she almost suffocated on Izuku's dick.

"Thanks." He said, "Without you, my dick would turn into a barbecue sausage."

Mei didn't say anything. She just got up, spat out the semen on the floor and PUNCHED IZUKU RIGHT IN THE JAW, HOLY FUCK.

"You think, *cough, you think you can deepthroat me just because your dick was on fire?!" she yelled at him.

"I-I'm so s-sorry, Mei!" he mumbled out, "I just can't control myself!"

"CLEARLY!" she bitchslapped him very hard, "I have a fire extinguisher over here! Also, you know that the fire went down itself before you thrusted your dick in my mouth?"

"Huh?"

"The fire on your pubes had put out itself like three seconds before you put it in my mouth. So there was no reason for you to do that."

"Oh."

"We need to do something about your hormones, or you will become more and more brutal."

Then, Mei performed a series of tests and experiments on Izuku. After analyzing his blood cells, checking his body temperature and checking his prostate, she came to a surprising conclusion.

"Izuku, I know what is wrong with you." She said, "Have you been taking any drugs lately?"

"What?! I'd… never! Never ever!" Izuku denied.

"I don't mean like, weed or coke, but some medicine, maybe?"

"Oh, well… I have been taking pills that cure my nervous ticks for ten years now." He replied.

"I see.. well, that expla…"

"Okay, I also smoked some pot in school, but just to de-stress…"

"… anyway, I think I know the reas…"

"Oh, and I snorted coke once. **Once.** Just because my friends did, too."

"ANYWAY, I think I know the reason for your aggression."

"What is it, bitch?"

"It says on the internet that taking drugs over a long period of time may cause inefficient testosterone level."

"..."

"… wait, now that I think about it, this doesn't make any sense."

"I know, right? Cuz, 'inefficient' means 'too low', right? And this can't be the case, because I clearly have too much testosterone."

"I know that, why are you explaining this to me?" Mei asked.

"I thought it would be, like, you know, pretty funny, right? A bit quirky, u kno what I'm sayin'?"

"Get the fuck out of here."

Mei pushed Izuku out of her workshop.

"Hey, but what about my hormones?" Izuku asked, while Mei was pushing him outside.

"I have no idea. Go ask a doctor or something." Mei replied and shut the door.

Izuku wasn't very happy. Not only did she not fix his pants, but she also wasn't of much help with his hormone problems.

"Hey, that's right…" Izuku murmured to himself, "That bitch didn't fix my fucking pants!"

He then punched the door open, launching it against the opposite wall.

"You didn't fix my goddamn pants." Izuku said, "I have to punish you."

"Dafuq are you doing?!" Mei screamed, "No, stop! Stay away from me! NOOO!"

She was screaming when Izuku grabbed her ass. She knew she'd be done for the moment he puts his fist up her ass, so she grabbed the welder from before and sprayed fire on Izuku's face.

But that fucking nibba just blew away the fire.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mei shouted out her final words, just before Izuku's fists launched inside her anus.

 **Next morning…**

The word have spread around the school that Izuku Midoriya doesn't fuck around, and fists everyone on his path. The thing he tried to deny, turned out to be true. The girls were traveling around the school in groups. But it didn't do anything.

Izuku fisted every remaining girl in his class (just one, lol – Yaoyorozu), and then moved to class 1-B and other departments. Shit, he even went after the senior classes.

The fisting was omnipresent in U.A. Every girl had to accept the fact that no matter how fast she runs and how well she hides, that crazy motherfucker will still catch her.

That, was Izuku's Fisting Crusade.

Remember that scene in Scarface when Tony was driving around Miami, completely badass, with Push It To The Limit in the background? Now imagine the same scene, but with Izuku going around U.A. and fisting every girl there was, with Push It To The Limit, and with THESE lyrics.

 _Push it to the limit_

 _Put your fist deep in the hole_

 _But don't feel bad, just fist that hoe_

 _And you'll be finished!_

 _Open up the limit_

 _Past the point of common sense_

 _You've reached the end, it's really dense_

 _It is wicked!_

 _Don't use lube, just do your best_

 _Anus wide open, this is your final test_

 _Then you crush the ass_

 _(Crush the ass!)_

 _Put both arms deep into the stink_

 _Nothing gonna stop you_

 _There's no time to think_

 _Your dick's so hard, nearly at the brink_

 _So, push it!_

 _(Ohh Yeah!)_

 _DADA DADAA DADA DADAA DADA DADAAA!_

After a week, every girl in U.A. High School has visited the hospital wing at least once, with some counting four and even five (Those were mainly Ochako and the other four, which left the hospital first).

No teacher was able to stop him, afraid of his immense masculinity. His guy friends were scared of his presence alone, though they were also a bit jealous of his fist count. Which, by the end of the week, reached over two hundred, and over a thousand, if you count multiples.

Nobody knew how to stop him. It seemed like Izuku took over the entire school.

However, there was one person in the entire fucking school, who knew how to stop him. And in fact, that person wasn't even a person. I'm talking of course about THAT TALKING FUCKING RACOON, otherwise known as Mr. Principal.

"What to do with Izuku, hmmm…" he thought, while injecting crack straight into his eyeballs, "The terrible things they said about him in the news didn't stop him… but… that's because he's safe in U.A.! That's right! If we manage to get him on live television and explain himself, he will surely calm down from all the eyes watching him, and stop his idiotic fisting crusade."

Then he grabbed a phone and called the main Japanese news channel.

"Hello? It's me, the principal of U.A." He said, "I'd like to ask you to *BANG*"

" _Hello? Is everything alright over there?_ " the speaker asked.

He didn't know that Mr. Principal collapsed from the coke.

 **To be continued…**

In the next chapter: Mr. Principal wakes up and sets up a live interview with Izuku, in order to scare him and prevent him from ever fisting anyone again. Is it gonna work? Wait and find out, nibbas.

Also, did you notice that I basically wrote lyrics for Push It To The Limit, JUST for this single shitpost? Can you see my PASSION and EFFORT and RETARDATION?

If you do, please show your appreciation by writing a hateful review. Please, I love it when somebody tells me to kill myself.

And yeah, you can also praise me in the review, I don't mind.

SEE YA! (Imma go and fap now. I strongly encourage you to do this as well)


	4. Worldwide Recognition

**/Guys… I need to apologize. At the end of the third chapter, I lied to all of you. I said I was going to fap, when in fact, I didn't fap that day. I am sincerely sorry, and I promise to never let you down again.**

 **ANYWAY, here is the latest fucking chapter, enjoy!/**

"WHAT?!" Izuku shouted.

"You heard me, boi." Mr. Principal nodded.

"But… what do you mean by 'live interview'?!" Izuku asked in a shaking voice.

"You're going to be interviewed by the national TV station today evening. How's that?"

"I-I can't! This is too sudden!"

"Well, it's either this or expulsion from the school."

"You have no right to expel me! I used the secret double-fisting technique, everything was legal!"

"Yes, yes, but… come over here, let me tell you something."

Izuku bent over and Mr. Principal whispered him in the ear: "I don't give a shit."

Izuku returned to his previous position with a rather annoyed look on his face.

"Yup. I am the principal after all. Better prepare yourself, cause we're leaving for Tokyo in two hours."

"Yeah, as if I was going to agree on going, you trash." Izuku replied.

Later that day, he was captured by several pro heroes and dragged into a car. Izuku, Mr. Principal, Aizawa and All Might drove to Tokyo together.

It was 7:50 PM. The four were sitting in a lounge in Japan National TV Station building. The talk-show was about to begin. Izuku was trembling, not able to say a word to the other three.

After a minute of awkward silence, All Might cleared his throat and spoke to Midoriya.

"So, Izuku, my boy." He started, "I know this is stressful for you, but this is what you get for fisting all the girls in your school."

"Y-Yeah…" Izuku mumbled out.

"Don't worry, boy." Mr. Principal pat his back, "Just don't think about all those millions of people that will be watching you, listening to every word you say, and you'll be fine."

"Uh-huh…?!" Izuku moaned, trembling from head to toes.

"You know, Midoriya? I actually think that no matter what you say and what you do, you will always be a part of the society." Aizawa said, "Remember that God is watching you always, and keep in mind that it is unhealthy to sit in front of your computer for longer periods of time."

Nobody said anything for a few seconds.

"Aizawa... that made no sense." All Might scratched his chin.

"Yeah, that was dumb." Mr. Principal added.

"Wait..." Izuku suddenly spoke, "You said that it's unhealthy to sit in front of your computer for longer periods of time, right?"

"… that's right." Aizawa replied.

"But what if the computer is turned off?"

"Well, this is not certain, but there have been tests performed on a group of teenagers, and it turned out that even when a computer is turned off, it still emits dangerous radiation and molecules, which can cause eye and skin cancer. Of course, the amount of radiation is low in this case, but it's still enough to be worried. Some even say that the radiation contains particles of cannabis, and that can cause major brain damage, especially for kids between the age of ten and seventeen."

"Yes, that's true, but… it has been said in the bible that computers are there to help people, right? And to spread the message of God's love around the globe. So, things like cannabis particles and radiation are a natural side effect, that…"

Izuku and Aizawa had an interesting, yet retarded conversation, and All Might and Mr. Principal had to listen to all of their idiotic statements.

Then, the time has come for Izuku to enter the studio.

"Midoriya Izuku, you're coming in in twenty seconds." Some guy said.

"Don't worry, Izuku, my boy." All Might rubbed Izuku's hair, "Just stay calm, and remember that it's for your own good, as well."

"R-Right…" Izuku muttered.

Meanwhile, in the studio…

"… and that concludes the story of Pipizu Bamoyamo. We wish him well and hope that the surgeons will be able to remove the dildo that is stuck in his ass." The host lady said, "And now, we welcome Midoriya Izuku, the boy who has recently caused quite a commotion in U.A. High School."

Izuku approached the host lady and didn't say a word.

"My name's Oshikko Oppai, nice to meet you." She said.

"T-Thanks for having me…" Izuku replied quietly.

"Come on, have a sit."

Izuku sat In front of Oshikko.

"Please, introduce yourself." Oshikko said.

"Well… My name's Izuku, and… I am a student of U.A." Izuku muttered.

"They say that you fist anything on your path, is that right?"

"No! T-This is not true!"

"But they told me that you fisted every girl in your school a few times each, and now they are all in the hospital wing, unable to participate in classes, are you going to deny that as well?"

Izuku had no comeback for that one.

Meanwhile, the teachers and principal were watching the show outside.

"Hah, look at him!" Mr. Principal chuckled, "He's cornered. We'll be victorious, my friends."

"You think that humiliating a student in front of the whole country can be considered a victory, principal?" All Might asked.

"… yeah?"

"Hey guys, look." Aizawa interrupted them, "Suddenly he got way more open."

"Huh?"

In the studio…

"… and then I grabbed that bitch and inserted both of my arms down her asshole!" Izuku said energetically.

"Whoa! Sounds incredible!" Oshikko exclaimed, "You know, we have this fake ass over here, can you show us please how you fist your victims?"

And then she took out a fake ass and placed it on the table.

"Sure." Izuku replied "I usually grab them like THIS."

Izuku grabbed the fake ass very brutally.

"Ooh!"

"Next, I tear off their pants through sheer force. No fucking around."

"Wow!"

"Then, because I have a strict rule of 'Raw Fist, No Lube', I put the tips of both of my hands inside, and spread the anus as much as I can, to prepare for a smooth insertion."

"Holy moly!"

"When I see that the anus is ready, I place both of my fists on the exterior area of the anus, and THRUST them in a single swift motion, like THIS!"

"Oh my God… and how deep do you usually go?"

"Let me see…" Izuku looked at his arm, "Down to… this motherfucker."

He pointed at his elbow.

"Izuku, I have to admit, this is incredible." Oshikko said, "I bet every guy in your school is jealous of you! Fisting so many girls daily, what else can a boy your age dream of?"

"Actually, this isn't all THAT good…"

"How so?"

"You see, this might sound great when I say it, but trust me, it gets boring after the first ten or so times."

"Then why do you still fist everyone?"

"I guess this has become my habit or something…"

"I bet you'd like to shake things up a little from time to time, right?"

"Actually, I did deepthroat my friend once, it was cool."

"Maybe you should do that more often?"

"Nah… this isn't really about that… fisting is fine, I just… wish there were some black girls in my school."

"Pardon?"

"You see, black girls have black asses, right?"

"That is in fact true, but why does that matter?"

"Black girls are black, so their asses are also black. Fisting white asses all the time can get monotonous, but if I was able to fist some African-American girl from time to time, it would improve my mood greatly."

"Alright, but… why African-Americans?"

"You see, there's something about black people that intrigues me… inspires, even."

"What is that thing?"

"… the fact that they're black."

"I see. Well, it was nice having you here with us, Izuku."

"The pleasure is mine, Oshikko." Izuku smirked.

The show ended, Izuku left the studio with a happy smile on his face and approached the teachers, who's jaws dropped to the floor.

"We goin'?"

They returned to U.A. On their way, no one said a single word. Mr. Principal looked like as if somebody raped his mother. All might was thinking about what he did wrong as Izuku's teacher. Aizawa was thinking about that one interracial porno he saw years ago, and decided to find it tonight, even if it takes him six hours. Cuz there's nothing better than a nostalgic fap.

Meanwhile, Izuku was looking through the window. He stopped thinking about the change in his behavior a few days ago already. He has learned to control some of his aggressive behaviors. He didn't swear as much, and he didn't bukkake on his classmates anymore, cuz that ain't gentleman-like. Today has proved that no matter how much stress he's put into, he can't be brought back to normal.

On the next day, it was Sunday, so there was no school. Izuku decided to go outside and breathe some fresh air.

On his way through the school corridors, his eyes met both furious and terrified stares of other boys, as well as embarrassed and seductive looks of the girls that were released from the hospital wing.

He got used to these kinds of looks, but he still had chills whenever a girl he passed by on a corridor suddenly squeaked. Maybe they wouldn't, if Izuku wasn't grabbing their asscheeks every time.

When Izuku reached the exit, he was stopped by Aizawa.

"You can't go out." He said.

"Why, what's wrong?" Izuku asked.

"The interview you had yesterday has caused chaos all over the country."

"How's that?"

"Can't say, now go away."

"I'm afraid I have to refuse."

"… Okay man, just please, don't hurt me."

"That's what I thought."

Aizawa moved aside and Izuku walked out.

"THERE HE IS! ! ! ! ! !" someone shouted.

"What the hell?" Izuku was blinded by the sun, but after covering his eyes with his hand he realized what was going on.

The entire school territory was filled with girls of African-American descent, who set up their tents, waiting for Midoriya Izuku to come out.

They all ran after Izuku, who was shaking with fear. But, much to his surprise they didn't straight up kill him when they caught him. Instead, they were hugging him, taking selfies and asking about his private life.

"H-Hey… this is r-really cool and all, but… w-where did you come from?" Izuku asked, his voice shaking and legs trembling.

"I came from the United States!" some girl screamed.

"Me and my friends arrived from Nigeria!" some other girl shouted.

"Hey, I'm from Brazil! I'm technically a Latin, but I certainly don't qualify as a white girl!" yet another girl explained her descent.

Izuku was embarrassed, but after a while talking to the girls, he calmed down and talked to them.

He spent the entire day and night having a very, very, VERY rough orgy with black girls from around the world, on the outskirts of U.A.

 **To be continued…**

I did have an idea for each of those chapters beforehand, but I really don't know what to write for the next one. I have a few ideas, but nothing that would make a whole chapter.

Anyway, see you in the next one!

PS: I am not going to make the same mistake as before, so I'm just gonna say that I MIGHT fap today. I don't know yet. I'll let you know in the next one. See ya!


	5. Everything Collapses

**/To answer the question from the previous chapter: Yes. I did./**

"Everyone, please stand up." The guard said.

The judge entered the court and sat in front of everyone.

"Will the defendant please rise…" she said.

Izuku stood up unwillingly.

"Name and occupation, please."

"Umm…" Izuku gulped, "My name's Midoriya Izuku. I'm a student in U.A. High School."

The judge looked at the piece of paper she was holding.

"… It says here that you were accused of fisting your schoolmates and several thousand African-American…"

The judge stopped when she noticed Izuku raising his hand.

"Yes?"

"You mean 'double fisting', your honor." Izuku said, "Two fists in their asses, not one. Major difference."

"No, not really."

"Yes it is."

"No." the judge said firmly and looked at the piece of paper again, "Your actions have caused major anus damage for everyone you've fisted. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Izuku cleared his throat.

"Yes, I do. You see, usage of the double fisting technique in school is one hundred percent legal, therefore I was brought here unjustly."

"That is in fact true, but…" The judge put the piece of paper aside, "It only applies for schoolmates. For girls outside of one's school, they can only use single-fisting technique."

"But… that doesn't make any sense! ANY!" Izuku protested, shaken up after what he just heard.

"That is the law. Not knowing the law is not an excuse." The judge explained, "I understand that you don't have anything left to say?"

"I actually do."

"Speak, then."

"I hate you and I wish you die, you piece of shit."

"Take him out of here, please."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" Izuku shouted, "You wanna take this outside? Want me to fuck you up?!"

Unfortunately, Izuku was neutralized and taken into custody. His sentence was twenty years in a maximum security prison.

In the meantime, there were riots starting around the whole globe, consisting mostly of African-American females, who didn't agree with Izuku's sentence.

The girls in U.A. prepared a series of terrorist attacks, aimed at the government, but it turned out that drawing dicks on walls of random buildings isn't good enough.

Every boy in U.A. was extremely happy about the situation, however it quickly turned out that it's very boring without the sounds of fisting echoing around the school. Or without the gallons of semen flowing on the hallways.

In the meantime, in Musufatu Maximum Security Prison…

"Yo, what you in for?" some skinhead asked, "I had a fight with the police, you?"

"I killed a guy." a very intimidating-looking, muscular black dude replied, "Ripped his head off."

"I sold drugs to kids in local elementary school." A creepy Asian guy said.

"Shiet, guys! That is some sick shit!" the skinhead stated.

Then they looked at Izuku, who was sitting in a corner, crying.

"Heh, look at this one." The skinhead smirked, "Wonder what he did."

"Hey, you." The black guy called, "Fresh meat. What are you in for?"

"He probably smoked cigarettes in school bathroom, hehehe!" the Asian laughed.

Izuku raised his head.

"M-me?" he muttered.

"Yeah. Why are you here?" the black guy insisted.

"Well… I fisted the fuck out of my schoolmates… and several thousand black girls, too… silly, I know." Izuku lowered his head in between his knees again.

The three thugs were staring at him with terror in their eyes. They went over to the opposite corner of the cell and didn't say anything for the rest of that day.

...

It has been two months ever since Izuku was sent to prison. The U.A. has become the most boring school you could ever imagine.

Ochako was lying on the bed in her room, tossing and turning, thinking about the great feeling of Izuku's FISTS in her asshole. Those memories were haunting her every day, every night.

And then she realized something…

"Hey… what if I try to fist myself?" she thought.

She knew it wouldn't be as good as if Izuku was the one doing it, but she had to try.

Ochako removed her pajamas and curled up on her bed, face down. She reached her hand near her asshole, and tried to put her fist inside, but it didn't even fit. Not to mention, doing it yourself required quite a bit of flexibility, which most people lack.

She sighed and opened up Facebook on her phone.

She noticed that she was invited to a group conversation with the other girls. She was a little tired, but she joined the chat anyway. It's not like they are up this late in the night chatting, right?

 **Mina:** LOL OCHAKO JOINED!1

 **Kyoka:** heh

 **Tsuyu:** Hi, Ochako!

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Toru:** Ochako welcome to the most retarded chat you've been on xDDD

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Ochako:** umm, hi?

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Kyoka:** stop spamming bitch

 **Tsuyu:** Mina, you're obstructing my view of the chat.

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Toru:** don't stop lol, make them furious xd

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Ochako:** that's called infuriating somebody, Toru.

 **Toru:** :O

 **Mina:** Wow (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Kyoka:** alright, enough.

 **Mina:** *sends the laughing Pusheen sticker*

 **Tsuyu:** *sends the annoyed Pusheen sticker*

 **Ochako:** dafuq is going on

 **Toru:** *sends a picture of Shrek x Cory in the House*

 **Toru:** XDDD sorry, wrong chat L O L

 **Kyoka:** O.o

 **Tsuyu:** 0.0

 **Mina:** XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

 **Ochako:** why would you send this to anybody? Also kek

 **Toru:** me and my mom are sending each other memes xD

 **Kyoka:** that's fucked up

 **Mina:** ye

 **Ochako:** why has god forsaken us

 **Yaoyorozu:** Could you please not chat so much in the middle of the night? I keep getting those annoying notifications and I can't sleep.

 **Toru:** idc lol :)

 **Mina:** suck my ass yaoyo (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Kyoka:** turn off the notifications then, lol

 **Yaoyorozu:** What? I can do that?!

 **Ochako:** why did you invite me girls?

 **Kyoka:** yeah, just enter the settings, choose Notifications tab and disable them.

 **Kyoka:** you enter settings by tapping on a small gear icon

 **Mina:** Ochako, cuz we need your help :OO

 **Yaoyorozu:** How do I enter the settings?

 **Yaoyorozu:** Oh, okay :) thanks!

 _Yaoyorozu has left the conversation_

 **Kyoka:** ._.

 **Toru:** XDDDD

 **Mina:** Lol how did she mess that up so badly (;ﾟдﾟ)

 **Tsuyu:** Should we invite her again?

 **Toru:** Lol no, fuck her (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Ochako:** hey for real, what do you want from me?

 **Kyoka:** Mina was thinking about some stupid shit and she wanted to ask you for help

 **Mina:** pretty much (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Ochako:** I'm listening.

 **Mina:** we want to fist ourselves, but we don't know how :/

 **Toru:** kek

 **Kyoka:** that wasn't my idea, just so you know

 **Ochako:** so you all have already tried to fist yourselves?

 **Mina:** yup. doesn't do it.

 **Toru:** :(

 **Ochako:** even Tsuyu? She's got like a really long tounge

 **Tsuyu:** Ochako, what you're saying is very inappropriate.

 **Ochako:** ?

 **Tsuyu:** Rimjob =/= Fisting

 **Mina:** we want you to call Izuku and ask you for advice on fisting

 **Kyoka:** omg, this is retarded

 **Ochako:** it is, but I kind of agree that theres no better option

 **Ochako:** well, we can always try to fist each other.

 **Ochako:** we don't have to do it to ourselves

 **Ochako:** right?

 **Toru:** why haven't we thought about this before?!

 **Mina:** I dunno, lol (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Mina:** we can try it now

 **Kyoka:** like, right now?

 **Mina:** (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ(つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ(つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ

 **Toru:** yeah ^^

 **Ochako:** come to my room then

 **Mina:** coming! :3

 **Toru:** I'll be in a minute, gotta take an invisible shit

 **Tsuyu:** I'm coming.

 **Tsuyu:** Toru :/

 **Toru:** xD

 **Kyoka:** i'll be there, too, I guess…

And so, the girls met in Ochako's room. They tried to fist each other, but it still wouldn't work. Sure, it did get rid of the problem of not being able to reach your anus with your own hand, but it didn't make much difference if the person behind you can't fit their fist up your ass, anyway.

"*sigh* this doesn't work out."Ochako realized.

"Yeah, I never would have thought it would be so difficult…" Mina gasped, exhausted from trying to fist Kyoka.

"Ughh..." Kyoka sighed and sat down, "Izuku made it look super easy…"

"Well, he does have a super-strength-kind-of quirk, right?" Toru asked, "Maybe it has something to do with that power of his?"

"Maybe we should call him and ask him that question?" Tsuyu suggested.

Ochako breathed in and grabbed her phone.

"Wait, it's past midnight, I can't call the prison at time like that…" she said.

"There has to be a time difference between us and the prison, don't worry." Mina gave her a thumb up.

"The prison Izuku is held in is located in our city, idiot…" Kyoka reprimanded her.

"Maybe there is a slight time difference…" Ochako muttered under her nose and called the prison, enabling the speaker.

"Wait, you can't possibly think that it's day for Izuku, right?" Kyoka snickered.

" _Musufatu Maximum Security Prison here, how may I help you?"_ a person on the other side said.

"Hello, my name's Ochako Uraraka, I'd like to talk to a prisoner named Midoriya Izuku." Ochako said.

" _You know this is a Maximum Security Prison, right? We don't allow such phone calls._ "

"Pretty please…?"

" _Alright._ "

"WHAT?!" Kyoka exclaimed.

" _What's going on there?" the voice asked._

"Oh, my friend here didn't expect you to pick up this late in the night." Ochako explained.

" _And she would have been right most of the time. However, it so happens that today it's day around here. It only happens once every ten years, tho. Consider yourselves lucky."_

The girls were super happy to hear that. Kyoka too, but her expression was more like "how the fuck is this possible…?"

After two minutes of waiting, Izuku picked up the phone.

"Hello…?" he said in a very tired voice.

"IZUKU! ! ! !" Ochako shouted, the other girls were shouting to the phone as well, "How are you doing?!"

"Oh, I'm fine, thanks…" Izuku replied, "It's just that everyone here avoids me for some reason."

"Ooh… well, don't worry Izuku. All Might and Aizawa sensei told us that they're working on getting you out of the prison somehow."

"Oh, that's great!" Izuku cheered up a little, "And how's that going?"

The girls looked at each other, worried about Izuku.

"Well…" Ochako started unsurely, "Aizawa was taken to hospital last week. He blazed too much weed and he's gonna stay in bed for three months."

"Oh…" Izuku's voice and expression saddened.

"And All Might is currently at the International My Little Pony Convention in Azerbaijan..." Ochako continued, "He's also not gonna come back soon."

"… I see." Izuku muttered.

"… Hey, Izuku, cheer up, okay? We're gonna get you out of there one way or another!" Ochako said merrily, and the other girls were cheering up on Izuku in the background.

"Heh… thanks, guys. I appreciate it." Izuku smiled and shed a tear.

"Oh, by the waaayyyy…" Ochako said, laughing, "Since we're already talking, can you please tell us how to fist? It's so damn difficult!"

Izuku laughed quietly, "This was the actual reason you called me, right?"

"N-no! Of course not!" Ochako denied.

"I don't mind. I actually knew you were going to ask me at some point."

"But Izuku, we really DO appreciate you! And we wish that you can safely return to…"

"Don't worry, it's fine." Izuku interrupted her, "Listen: you won't be able to do it just like I do, but I can give you advice on how to do it as good as it is possible for you."

"We're listening!" Ochako said, and all the girls surrounded the phone she was holding.

"First, you have to spread the anus a little. You can't raw-fist somebody without spreading their ass."

"How did you know we weren't doing that?" Mina asked.

"Heh… it's a common mistake made by fisting newbies."

"O.o"

"You spread the anus by putting the tips of your both hands around the edges of the fisted person's asshole, and then you try to spread it as much as possible, while trying not to rip their anus apart."

"Sounds complicated…" Toru stated.

"It only sounds difficult, it's actually pretty easy. Just imagine opening a very firmly closed bag of chips, while trying not to spill everything on the floor. The positioning of your fingers is different in that case, but overall, it's the same thing. After you're done spreading, thrust BOTH of your arms inside the anus. Always both, this is the only legal way. Don't worry about putting them too deep. You can't go too deep with this technique. If everything works out, after just a few in-and-outs, the fisted person should pass out into blissful sleep."

The girls were carefully analyzing Izuku's words, trying to memorize everything. Then, Mina shouted:

"KYOKA! COME OVER HERE!"

"WHAT?!" Kyoka screamed, and the other girls attacked her. Izuku could only hear Kyoka's screeches and laughter of the other girls.

"Hello? Girls? What's going on?" Izuku asked, still on speaker.

"Izuku!" Ochako grabbed the phone, after they were done with Kyoka, "It worked! Kyoka's completely exhausted!"

"Glad I could be of help!" Izuku replied.

The other girls were fighting over the phone, each wanting to say thank you to Midoriya.

They hung up and spent the entire night fisting each other.

In the morning, they were still awake, lying on the floor, breathing heavily.

"Hey… it was awesome…" Toru panted.

"Yeah." Kyoka admitted.

"I can't believe we spent the entire night fisting each other in my room…" Ochako said, laughing.

"It sure felt great!" Mina laughed.

"It was good, but…" Tsuyu said, "Izuku still did it like a hundred times better."

"… yeah." Toru agreed.

"I have to agree." Kyoka said.

"Damn…" Ochako sighed.

"Fucking hell…" Mina punched the ground.

On that day, the girls have realized how big was their loss.

 **To be continued…**

Yo muthafuckaz, I know I said in the previous chapter that I didn't have an idea on what to write next, but now you don't have to worry about the quality of future chapters. I have already come up with the entire story, the only thing left to do is to turn it into actual chapters. Also, I don't want to upload them too often, so it's gonna be a about three to four days before the next one comes out. Stay tuned!


	6. The Best Way To Add Tension To Any Story

**/I know I should have updated this one or two days ago, sorry for the wait.**

 **Now, enjoy this sixth chapter, while I'm going to whack my gack to some fine Blender Hentai./**

Three days have passed since Ochako called Izuku.

8 AM, 30th Feb

The gate of Musufatu Maximum Security Prison were blown away. Amidst the clouds of dust, a figure emerges. It is him. The one and only. That's right…

It's BILLY THE SEX OFFENDER, BITCHES!

I bet you weren't expecting that, were you now?

"HAHAHA! Finally!" Billy shouted, "I am free at last!"

But then, his maniacal laughter was interrupted by a guard's sniper bullet to his head.

The guards cleaned up the body and performed a quick check on the other prisoners.

"Is everyone present?" the security chief asked his subordinate.

"Well, assuming that we don't count Midoriya Izuku, then everyone is present." The subordinate replied.

"Oh, alright. Thanks, Chokuchō."

"No problem, boss."

 ***a two-second-long comedic pause***

"Wait, what was that supposed to mean?" the boss asked.

"I said that Midoriya Izuku is not present." Chokuchō replied.

"WHY did you assume that we're not counting him?!"

"I thought that it doesn't make any difference."

Later that day, everyone in the world heard about the whole incident. Class 1-A from U.A. was watching the news report on television in the common room, curious to hear what really happened.

"We are in front of what used to be the gate of Musufatu Maximum Security Prison," the reporter said, "Well, 'Maximum Security' my ass, if you ask me. Anyway, we've got the security chief, Mr. Katsuyakukin here with us. Care to say what happened?"

Poor old man could barely find any words.

"Umm… so," he started and cleaned his throat, "One of the prisoners blew up the gate, but we shot him, so it's fine."

"What was his name?"

"Billy the Sex Offender."

The reporter raised her eyebrow.

"Are you trying to say, that Billy the Motherfucking Sex Offender, a seventy-year old man without any destructive quirk whatsoever, was able to blow up the gates of the most secure prison in Japan?"

Sweat drips ran down Katsuyakukin's balls.

"Yes." He replied, "We believe that Billy developed a power-enhancing quirk, which we haven't found out about up until today."

"That's very interesting, Mr. Katsuyakukin," the reporter said, "You're not saying then that it was Midoriya Izuku, the Boy Who Fists Anything That Moves, who destroyed the gate and ran away?"

Hearing their classmate's name, class 1-A gasped in shock. Expect Bakugou, since he was fapping in his room.

The reportage continued.

Katsuyakukin gulped, "I've never heard about this Izuku, heh… Oh, Chokuchō, my boy!", he called, "Have you heard about some guy named Midoriya Izuku?"

Chokuchō's distant "You mean the guy who escaped?" was muffled by Katsuyakukin's loud coughing.

"See?" security chief said, turning towards the reporter, "He doesn't know either."

"I heard something different…"

"No, you haven't."

The two argued for the next few minutes, but class 1-A was not paying attention anymore. They heard just what they needed to hear.

The class started their own little argument, which developed into a not-so-little fight. 1-A students were split into two opposing groups. One that was hyped for Midoriya's escape, and one that wished he would die a horrible death.

The first one consisted of all the girls, minus Yaoyorozu, who didn't care about Deku that much, so she didn't take a stand.

The other one consisted of all the boys.

"You know that Deku is an actual criminal?" Kirishima asked the opposing group, "And that he just escaped prison? He's basically a fugitive, he will be pursued by every force in the world… and you're still on his side? Despite the fact that you're supposed to be heroes?"

Ochako took a deep breath, and then said aloud a simple, yet effective "Your mom gay."

The other girls laughed at her joke.

"That was a good one, Ochako!" Mina said and pat Ochako on the back.

The boys could not find any good comeback. Suddenly, Kaminari recalled a great one.

"No, u!" he shouted.

There were no laughs, nor response. After a few seconds, Toru asked:

"So, how many dicks do you suck a day, Kaminari?"

The bombs were dropped, the girls's laughter echoed throughout the common room, and the boys were forced to surrender.

However, none of them had any idea how Izuku was doing. Nobody did, really.

Another two months have passed. Nobody was searching for Izuku anymore. U.A. went on with its usual routines.

That is, until the aliens attacked the Earth.

That's right. This is the ultimate way to add tension to any story.

Anyway, the aliens hit Japan the hardest, to punish Japs for all the weird hentai they made. I swear, I think that every third Japanese person draws porn, and a major portion of it is very unsettling, to say the least.

The streets were overrun by alien spawns. They had chainsaws for dicks, and tentacles for arms.

None of the Pro Heroes was a match for them, as the combat abilities of the aliens were much superior. One by one, they were falling victims to the tentacles and chainsaws.

U.A. hero course classes were asked to help out, rescuing the civilians.

"We need All Might!" Endeavor shouted, "Where is that cocksucker?"

"I believe he's still on that My Little Pony convention in Turkmenistan." Some faggot replied.

"WELL GREAT!"

While everyone was fighting, U.A. principal Nezu was analyzing the enemy from afar (and injecting pure coke straight into his bloodstream).

Then, he realized…

"Hey, faggots!" he shouted as he ran towards the heroes, "I've just found out about their only weakness! They have very fragile assholes!"

"We know this already, you damn fucking piece of shit!" Endeavor yelled, "We got that intel like two hours ago!"

"Really? Well fuck me, I just wanted to be useful…"

"Go die somewhere, cunt. Also, it doesn't matter at all, because we can't hit their assholes with all those chainsaw dicks and tentacles flailing around!"

"I see."

"It would take some real fucking Fisting MVP to defeat them, but I don't think you know anyone like that?"

Nezu smirked.

"What if I tell you that I know just the right person?"

 **To be continued...**

I know the story had taken a few really weird turns throughout the chapters (not that it wasn't fucked up from the start), but hey, this is a shitpost. Anything can happen.

Also, this one's a bit on the short side, but it's only because I've reached a good point for a cliffhanger. I could have made this one a bit longer if I had the time, but I've spent good three hours today, learning how to write. And fapping.


	7. Ochako Has No Chill Whatsoever

**/I could've written this shit 8 hours ago, but I didn't know how to make a smooth transition between the previous chapter and this one, so I kept opening Word, thinking about it and then closing it. Fuck me. For once, I would like to write something and NOT end it in the middle of the night.**

 **Anyway, here's your dose of bullshit.**

 **(Edits I put while writing)**

 **EDIT no. 1: Goddammit, it's past 12 AM. No fap for today, ehh…**

 **EDIT no. 2: Actually, why not…?**

 **EDIT no. 3: Stop writing edits and finish the chapter, moron.**

 **EDIT no. 4: I'm trying to come up with something funny for this fourth edit, but I clearly can't.**

 **/**

Nezu used his magic to teleport all 1-A students to his location.

(seriously, I've spent 8 hours thinking about what to write, when I could've just gone with the usual, safe "X used their magic to do X". I'm so dumb)

"How the fuck…?!" the students shouted, confused.

"We don't have time to explain, bitches." Nezu said, "I need you all to find Midoriya Izuku, right now."

"That bitch?" Kirishima chuckled, "What do you need him for?"

"WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, KIRISHIMA! ! !" Ochako screamed at him.

"Yeah, who the FUCK do you think you are?" Toru added.

Kirishima backed off, remembering that one time when he and the other guys were making fun of Izuku, and the girls heard them and broke their arms in several places.

"Are you done?" Nezu asked, "Whatever. Now, listen. We have found out that the aliens can ONLY be defeated by hitting their only weak spot – and that is their assholes."

"Can't the pro heroes try to do it themselves?" Tsuyu asked.

Nezu shook his head, "They tried, and failed. It's too difficult to get past those tentacles and chainsaws."

"Then how do you expect Deku to do anything about it?" Ochako asked, "I doubt he's fast enough to get behind those aliens, anyway."

Nezu smirked, "Heh… you see, I've got a plan, that might just work out."

He took out a piece of paper from his ass and unfolded it. The students looked at it, but it didn't seem like much at first glance.

"Dafuq is this?" Kaminari asked.

"This..." Nezu said, "Is the ancient map to the tomb of the legendary Japanese emperor, Toshiba Anime Hentai."

"? ? ? ? ?"

"He lived ten thousand years ago. He invented fisting, and perfected it. Nobody was able to escape his fisting wrath."

"Are you on crack?" Mina asked.

Nezu snorted, "Actually, yes. But this is real shit, guys. You need to find Midoriya and make him enter the tomb. It is said that the spirit of Toshiba Anime Hentai appears only to those, who are experienced fisters. The thing is, I don't actually know if the tomb exists or not, it's only a legend. But looking at our current situation, I say we have to try."

Sero shook his head, "This sounds dumb. I ain't going anywhere.

Everyone agreed that this plan is retarded, expect for Ochako.

"I will go." She said with a serious expression on her face, and everyone looked at her, "If there's even a slight chance that this tomb exists, we have to bring Izuku there. For humanity's sake."

"Bitch, hello?" Kyoka said, "You really believe that this tomb exists? Ten thousand years old tomb of TOSHIBA ANIME HENTAI?! Have you ever heard of this guy? Did Japan even exist that long ago?

"Well, the principal said…"

"LOOK AT HIM!" Kyoka pointed at Nezu, "He's a fucking raccoon! THAT TALKS! He injects CRACK into his eyeballs! Just look at him!"

Ochako and Nezu exchanged looks. Nezu raised his hand and said "Sup?".

"I believe in principal's words." Ochako stated, "He might be a talking animal, but he IS the principal, after all."

"Yup. I am. Listen to what she says, bitches." Nezu added.

The others spent a few seconds considering the idea.

"I will join you, Ochako." Tsuyu said, "This is the only thing we can do, anyway."

"K, count me in as wel." Mina said.

"Don't forget about me, BITCHES!" Toru shouted and joined them.

"I guess…" Kyoka said unwillingly.

Nezu smiled, "Sick, we've got a team of five, anybody else?"

The guys were scratching the backs of their heads. Then, suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, Yaoyorozu has spoken:

"Umm, I can go, if it involves taking part in an unforgettable adventure around the globe, like Lara Croft in Tomb Raider."

"I'm pretty sure you have your priorities fucked up, but whatever." Nezu said, "Alright, so these are all the girls. Guys? You surely won't let all those girls go alone, right?"

Kirishima cleared his throat, "Well, about that…"

"IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FUCK YOU UP?!"

Everyone looked at Ochako, who was so fucking furious, she made Kratos from God of War series look like a little bitch.

"Ochako, I was just trying to…"

"I DON'T CARE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP US SAVE THE WORLD, YOU CAN GO DIE SOMEWHERE, LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING WORM YOU ARE! THAT'S RIGHT, I FUCKING SAID IT! YOU'RE TRASH! EVERYBODY HATES YOU! SO GO, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT! GO RAPE SOME CORPSES LIKE SOME LOSER! CUZ THIS IS THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GOOD AT, RIGHT? FAPPING AND RAPING DEAD BODIES! GO AHEAD! LET THE GIRLS TAKE CARE OF YOUR PROBLEMS! WHY HELP US, WHEN CLEARLY THE PROBLEM WILL SOLVE ITSELF? AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL RAPE SOME CORPSES WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, RIGHT? WHY WASTE THE OPPORTUNITY?! WELL GO, DICKHEAD! WE DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP! GET! THE FUCK! OUT!"

Kirishima crapped his pants, and so did every other guy.

They ran away, afraid of getting their dicks ripped off.

"… Huh." Nezu said after a few seconds, "That was a bit of an overkill, girl."

"I didn't know you can drop bombs like that, Ochako!" Mina said, "I'm impressed!"

Ochako breathed out, "Sorry, I actually didn't want to shout at him like that. It's just that the new medicine I've been taking for the past couple of days doesn't seem to work. It was supposed to be more effective than the previous one, but I can't notice any improvements. If anything, I think my mental state has gone even worse. I'm hyperactive all the time, I can't control what I say or what I do. I feel like on crack all the time. The headaches never stop, my sexual needs are omnipresent and cannot be quenched by any kind of porno, I can't sleep at night, my eyes hurt from staying up all the time, I get aggressive very easily, and my overall self-confidence has dropped so low that I can't bring myself to do anything productive. I get depressed every time I think about my grades, and no matter what I do, I can't help but think that I'm wasting time. But, don't worry, it's okay."

After five seconds of everyone wtf-ing at what Ochako said, Nezu finally broke the silence by a loud cough.

"Well, if that wasn't unexpected and depressing…" he said, "Alright, anyway. Let's focus on the mission. Before we go to the ancient tomb, we've got to find Midoriya Izuku. Any idea where he might be hiding?"

"Nope." Toru replied.

"We don't even know how he escaped the prison in the first place…" Tsuyu said, "The cameras didn't notice anything."

"But we do know ONE thing!" Yaoyorozu exclaimed.

Everyone looked at her.

"… we do know that he has green hair, and his name is Midoriya Izuku."

"…" Nezu opened his mouth, trying to say something, but he couldn't find anything.

Mina pat Yaoyo on the back.

"Hahaha! Yes, that's right, Yaoyo!" she said, laughing, "You're so smart!"

"Oh, thank you! But it wasn't that difficult…" Yaoyo said, blushing.

"No, you VERY smart. VERY. So, how about you take this SPECIAL phone…" Mina gave Yaoyo her own phone, which she stole from her pocket just now, "… and call everybody in the world if they happened to spot any green-haired Midoriya Izukus in their area, how about that?"

Yaoyo gasped, "Really?! You want me to fulfill this difficult task, because you can't handle it? Oh my God! I'll be glad to help you all!"

"Yeah, cool, so, take this phone, go to that ruined Taco Bell over there, hide in a fridge and make some calls, aight, girl?"

"You've got it!"

Yaoyo grabbed the phone and ran to what used to be a Taco Bell.

"Sick." Nezu said, nodding, "Alright, we have no clue where he is, we have no idea if he's still alive, and we don't know anyone who might know anything about his whereabouts."

"That's right." Ochako said, "What is your plan, principal?"

Nezu looked from one girl to another, each looking at him with hope.

"Plan? Who said I had a plan? Don't look at me like that!"

"But… you said…"

"I only said that we need to bring Midoriya Izuku to the tomb. I know where the tomb is, I have a map, after all. But I don't know where Midoriya is."

"Don't you think that finding Deku is, like, the most important thing?" Toru asked, "Without him, this whole plan is pointless, and we're just wasting our time."

"Hmmm…" Nezu scratched his chin, "Idk, lol."

Kyoka grabbed Nezu and shook him really badly, "YOU FUCKING COON, WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?!"

"Hey, please calm down, or I'll call the police."

"The police is nonexistent, dumbass." Mina said, "They ran away as soon as the aliens attacked."

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Ochako exclaimed.

"What, what's going on?" Tsuyu asked.

"Deku was in prison, right? Prisons are correctional facilities, right? Facility is a very complicated word, and what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think 'complicated'? That's right, it's the law. Who enforces the law? It's the POLICE! The Police was a British rock band. They made a song Every Breath You Take. What does Deku like the most, and couldn't live without? That's BREATHING! To breathe, you inhale, and then exhale. What rhymes with both of those words? It's IMPALE!"

Kyoka sighed and put Nezu down, "… aannnd?"

"… I don't know. My chain of association has ended…"

Meanwhile, Yaoyo has returned.

"Guys! I found him!"

"What?!" Everyone said in shock.

"I called random numbers to ask about Izuku, and the tenth person I spoke to turned out to had seen a boy with green hair, who looked just like Midoriya Izuku from My Hero Academia."

"How the FUCK is this possible?!" Mina asked, clearly confused.

"Don't question it." Nezu said, "This is a shitpost."

"Alright, so where's Deku?" Ochako asked.

"He's in a small village named Las Mierdas, in Mexico." Yaoyo replied.

"Dafuq is he doing there?"

"Probably hiding."

"Alright, let's go!" Nezu shouted enthusiastically, "You coming or what?"

"You're not going with us, principal." Tsuyu stated.

"Why not?"

"Because you're a raccoon, and they don't let raccoons on airplanes." Toru explained.

"That's just racist."

"Sorry, you have to stay." Mina added, "Don't worry, we can handle it."

"Really? Well, I thought I'd come with you, as your senior and teacher…"

"No need, really :)" Ochako said, smiling, "Besides, you wouldn't want to be there when we get there."

"… oooohh, I get it. You think I'm gonna let you go alone? Forget it, I'm going with you."

"No, you're not." Kyoka summed up the conversation by sticking a dynamite up Nezu's asshole, which sent him flying ten miles away.

The other girls applauded Kyoka, who nodded with appreciation.

They went to the airport, stole one of the airplanes and made Yaoyorozu steer it, since she's so smart and shit.

The village of Las Mierdas was five hours away. Yaoyo was steering the plane, excited for the responsible task she was given. Meanwhile, the other girls were doing… something, in the back.

 **To be continued…**

This chapter turned out to be a one giant dialogue chain, but I DON'T CARE.

Also, my head hurts, so no fapping for me tonight. ***sigh***

Btw, I wrote seven chapters of this shit, and I still get this feeling that I should write Jirou instead of Kyoka. I don't remember how they call her in the show. I get the Japanese names and surnames mixed up all the time, lol. But, they sometimes call Izuku by 'Izuku', and sometimes by 'Midoriya', and this makes it even more confusing for me.


	8. I fell asleep trying to name this one

**/Just a quick unrelated reminder – traps are NOT gay.**

 **Also, I just googled that Yaoyorozu's name(?) is Momo, so… good job, Kream. It only took you eight chapters and 27 days to figure that out./**

Momo used the speaker to call the other girls to her cabin.

"Umm, girls? You better come check this out."

They all arrived at the pilot cabin, and Momo explained the situation.

"We're very close to our destination, however, I've just noticed something. This map over here says that we should head east to arrive in Mexico, right?"

"That's true, what's the problem?" Ochako asked.

"But… Mexico is clearly to the west… Take a look."

The girls looked at the map.

"But, you know, we can just come from the other way. The Earth isn't flat, you know?" Mina said, giggling.

Momo blinked a few times.

"What do you mean it's not?" she asked.

"JUST fly to the east, it'll be fine." Mina replied.

"You sure about that?" Momo asked in a trembling voice, "Because I really don't want to fly off the Earth!"

"Jesus Christ…" Toru whispered under her nose.

"Momo, just enable the autopilot if you're unsure." Tsuyu suggested.

"Okay, if you say so…"

Momo pressed a button.

" _The self-destruct system has been activated. Executing in three, two, …"_

"Oh shit."

"… _one."_

And then the whole airplane exploded.

The girls were falling down, unconscious from the blast, seven miles above the ground.

Meanwhile, Izuku was sitting on a chair, in front of a nasty shed, in some shithole village in Mexico.

He was relaxing in the sun, knowing that he doesn't need to worry about anything.

But then, his phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered, but then he realized that they might be trying to track his ass down, "Umm, I mean, there's nobody over here! Cya!"

"Midoriya, my boy! Wait!" All Might said, "It's just me, I'm not spying on you."

"Good to hear." Izuku said, "I should have thrown this phone away."

"It's good that you didn't, because I've got some really important news, that you might want to hear."

"What's going on?"

"You see… aliens KIND OF attacked the Earth just the other day."

"Dafuq?!"

"Yeah, and Japan got hit the hardest…"

"Holy shit… b-but, you're there, right? They can't win if we've got you on our side?"

"Well, the thing is… I'm actually not in Japan."

"Where are you then?"

"I'm in Azerbaijan. There was this big-ass My Little Pony convention, I'm telling you, there was soo many people, cosplayers, and…"

"I don't give a shit! Why can't you just return to Japan?!"

"I can't, boy." All Might replied, "The plane that was supposed to arrive here a few hours ago has been stolen."

"Is that a joke? Who would steal an airplane in the middle of an alien assault?"

And then, Izuku saw an explosion high up in the sky, right in front of him, approximately five miles away from where he was. He gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.

"What's wrong, boy?" All Might asked, "You sound like you just saw the airplane I was talking about just now exploding high up in the sky, approximately five miles away from your current position."

Izuku ran towards the explosion.

"Hey boy, are you running right now? What's going on?"

"Choke on a dick, All Might!" Izuku replied.

"What did you just…" All Might said, but then Izuku hung up.

Izuku realized that he won't be able to reach the location where the plane passengers would fall, no matter how fast he ran.

He had to increase his speed somehow. He put his own fist up his ass while running, which launched him miles forward.

When he arrived at the spot, airplane pieces and passengers were about 500 meters above him. He had to come up with some plan, anything. Then it hit him. The thing he had to do was so simple, yet he only came up with it just now.

He just caught everyone.

That's right, what the fuck did you expect? Did you want another "X used his magic to do something" excuse?

Izuku caught them one by one, putting the previous person on the ground before catching the next one. It turned out very convenient, that the people he was catching were falling with one second delay between each other.

What about the falling plane pieces, you ask?

Well, Izuku used his magic to remove them from existence.

ANYWAY, he was exhausted, but he managed to rescue everyone. And then he noticed that he kind of recognizes the people he just rescued. Izuku swept the sweat off of his forehead and took a closer look.

"Hmm…" Izuku murmured to himself, scratching his chin, "Yup, there's no mistaking it. It's Ochako and the other girls."

He brushed the dust off of his clothes, and then he realized…

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING HERE?!"

Izuku started panicking. If they were there, that must have meant that his cover has been blown. He had to escape and search for another hideout.

He was about to run away, but then he remembered that if he wanted to become the best hero, he couldn't leave his friends in need. Even if they just blew his cover.

They were still unconscious, so he grabbed them all in a tall pile, and went back to his hut in Las Mierdas, almost collapsing a couple of times on the way.

When he arrived at his hut after three hours of carrying five people on foot, he threw them all on his bed like some dirty laundry. Then he decided that he should go buy some snacks for everyone, so he headed out. However, as soon as he set his foot outside, he crumbled down on the ground from exhaustion.

"GAAAHH!" The girls woke up. They were all tangled together, making it difficult to breathe. One by one, they got up from the bed, looking around the hut.

"Where the fuck are we?" Mina asked, "I remember a big explosion, and then nothing…"

"I guess Momo pressed the wrong fucking button." Ochako said.

"Yeah, like, the blast was so big, like, holy shit…" Kyoka added, clearly not mentally stable after what she went through that day.

"I'm sorry girls… I have failed you as your friend and as a pilot…" Momo admitted sadly.

"Please, shut the fuck up." Toru said, "At least we're alive. But what is this hut?"

"It doesn't look very sanitary…" Tsuyu said.

The inside of the hut was dusty, moldy, and stinky.

"Let's get the fuck out of here." Ochako suggested.

"Yeah, it's filthy in here…" Kyoka agreed.

They tried to open the door, but something was blocking it from the other side.

"This motherfucker won't budge." Ochako said, while trying to open the door.

"Gimme some space." Mina told her and she moved aside.

Mina kicked the door with all her might, pushing Izuku away from the doorstep.

"Ow, fuck!" Izuku screamed, grabbing his foot, "You almost broke my fucking ankle!"

"DEKU?!" the girls shouted simultaneously.

"Well, yeah?"

"Why were you lying over there?" Ochako asked.

"I brought you all here from the spot where you fell, so I figured I might bring some snacks."

Ochako and the other girls looked around. The village consisted of six equally filthy huts, forming a circle around a big, empty area.

"Is there even a store around here…?" Toru asked.

"There's none, but we've got Pablo." Izuku replied and got up, facing a Mexican dude in the neighbouring hut, "Oi, Pablo! How you doing?"

Pablo turned around to face Izuku, and shouted:

"Una cana da cervesa, para el desayuno como pan con mantequilla y queso, hablo ingles un poco, riva riva!"

"What did he say?" Tsuyu asked.

"He said hi." Izuku replied.

"Oh."

"So he's like a merchant?" Kyoka asked.

"No, he just happens to own two tons of weed in his basement, and sometimes he shares some with the rest of us."

"You blaze weed?!" Ochako asked, shocked.

"No."

"Oh, okay."

"I chew it."

After a short debate on whether it's healthy to chew weed, Izuku invited the others to his hut.

"We should have said this earlier, but… thank you for rescuing us." Ochako said, smiling.

"Don't mention it." Izuku said.

"No, really. If it wasn't for you, we'd be dead!" Mina added.

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have to come here in the first place."

"Anyway, I wanted to ask this for so long now – How did you escape that prison? Nobody saw anything!" Toru asked.

"Oh..." Izuku scratched the back of his head, "I… used magic."

"That's what I fucking thought."

And then, they explained him the situation with the aliens. Izuku listened carefully, when Mina was describing the enemy. His DICK twitched a little, when she mentioned tentacles.

" _Hmm… the way Mina says the word 'tentacles' makes me pop a boner…"_ he thought, " _Also, she looks a bit like an alien herself, to be honest…"_

And then he imagined Mina being raped by tentacles. Like, two tentacles up her ass, two up her vag, and one in her mouth. Cuz more than one tentacle in mouth is weird.

"Deku, are you listening?" Ochako asked, but seeing Deku immersed in his own thoughts, she clapped her hands.

"Wha-? What? I'm listening!" he said, embarrassed of his thoughts.

"Did you get it?" Mina asked, "We need your help. Come back to Japan with us."

Izuku thought about it for a while.

Mina sighed, "I don't think there's anything to consider, to be honest…"

"I want to help, but… this is my new home." Izuku replied, spreading his arms, "The people in this village… they need me!"

"I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit."

"… yeah, you're right."

They went outside, and Izuku glanced over the village.

"Ahh, Las Mierdas…" he sighed, "This was my home for two months now… I guess it's time to say goodbye."

And then he grabbed a flamethrower and set the entire village and everyone inhabiting it on fire.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?" Ochako shouted.

"They said on the Internet that if you love something, you have to let it go!" Izuku explained.

(at this point, I was so fucking tired, I couldn't think of anything better, so… forgive me, please, if the chapter gets even shittier from this point on)

Izuku collected the ashes of the villagers, mixed them into a big pile and buried in the middle of the village. Then he prayed for their salvation, and then he took a shit on the grave.

The girls were like ಠ_ಠ all this time.

"Okay, I'm ready now." Izuku stated, "We can go to the tomb of Toshiba Anime Hentai now."

"Alright, let's go." Ochako said.

"Wait… how the fuck are we supposed to travel anywhere without a plane?" Izuku asked.

"Oh, it's actually pretty funny, but…" Toru said, "It turns out that the tomb is ten minutes away from this place, on foot."

"But we're in Mexico. Wasn't this guy like a Japanese emperor?"

"Yeah, but, you know. It's for plot convenience."

"What's a 'plot'?"

And then they laughed. But truth to be told, there was nothing to laugh at.

Then, Momo asked if she can be their guide on their way to the tomb, and they agreed because they felt sorry for her. It was actually very entertaining, to hear Momo describe every plant and wild animal they encountered. Just like a real tour guide.

That is, until they realized that they went the wrong way for two hours, and Izuku got so mad like omfg that he grabbed Momo and fisted her ass like never before. His primal rage destroyed Momo's sphincter and rectum, and the other girls were VERY pleased to see all of that.

 **To be continued…**

I'm trying to stay awake as I'm writing this, but I'm so sleepy that my head just wobbles and my eyes keep closing on their own. Anyway, see ya in the next one.


	9. Obtaining Full Fisting Power (wtf)

**/I dedicate today's chapter to a guy named Kneck, who reviewed like eight of my fanfics lately. Thx m8 C: #100%homo /**

After five hours of what should have been a ten-minute walk, the group of students have finally reached their destination.

"This is it…" Izuku gasped, "The ancient tomb of Toshiba Anime Hentai…"

Everyone gazed at the tomb. The entrance, which looked like a giant, gaping asshole carved in a stone wall, was reaching down with a very long staircase.

"Shall we go down there with you, Deku?" Ochako asked with concern.

"Fuck yeah, I don't want to go just by myself, lol?!"

"Oh… I was expecting something like 'No, Ochako… I must do this alone… this is my destiny.' But, okay…"

Izuku shuddered "What, you really thought I'd say that? Come on, this tomb is so dark and filthy!"

Ochako sighed, "Alright, we'll go in with you."

They approached the entrance, but as soon as they came close, the girls stopped.

"Deku, we can't go any further!" Ochako said.

"Why?" Izuku asked.

"There is some kind of barrier… I think it only allows fisting masters inside."

"Oh… I see." Izuku said and looked down, "I guess I have to go alone, after all…"

"Don't worry! If something bad happens, just run back to us!"

"O-Okay. I shall go now."

"Be careful!"

And so Izuku went down into the depths of the tomb.

The girls looked from afar, as he disappeared from their field of vision.

"Hah!" Mina laughed, "That was a good one, Ochako!"

"I agree!" Toru giggled, "This is like the best prank!"

"Hehehe!" Ochako laughed, scratching the back of her head, "I guess it was!"

"Haha, very funny." Kyoka pretended to be amused, "But we should really follow him now, before he trips and breaks his spine, or something."

"I agree, we should go now." Tsuyu added.

"May I state my opinion…?" Momo asked, but the sheer hate in the looks of other girls immediately prevented her from saying anything.

And so they decided to follow Izuku into the tomb. Well, they tried to…

"Ow!" Mina grabbed her TITS, "What the fuck is this?"

"Don't tell me there's an ACTUAL fucking barrier?!" Toru shouted.

"Fucking great…" Kyoka sighed.

"What do we do now?" Tsuyu asked.

When the girls tried to come up with something, meanwhile Ochako was haunted by the thoughts of not seeing Deku ever again, of Deku being killed by mummies and turned into a zombie, of Deku having his soul sucked out by demons and never being able to escape.

Momo noticed their concern and tried to cheer them up.

"Guys…" she said, "We should not waste our time. Let's do something!"

"You're right." Mina said, "I see you can say smart things, too, from time to…"

"Actually, I meant that we should go prepare the funeral." Momo clarified, "We can't go retrieve the body, so he will have to be considered lost in action."

After saying that, Momo's ass was severly punished.

Meanwhile, Izuku was still walking down the stairs.

They were very long, but not as long as my dick hehehe.

After a few minutes, the stairs ended. There was a wide chamber with a grave in the middle. It was so fucking sp00py, that I simply can't describe. I won't do it. Like, try to make me, bitches.

Anyway, Izuku looked at the grave and thought " _Wow, this sure is very spoopy."_ And I agree with him, it was definitely very spoopy.

Izuku approached the grave. There was an inscription carved on it. It said "Lay your dick on this grave to awaken me".

Izuku just now realized that he didn't even know why he came here. Was he really supposed to awaken the spirit of an ancient Japanese emperor?

He put his dick on the grave, and suddenly…

The spirit of Toshiba Anime Hentai was awakened! :OOOOO H0LY $HIT! WHAT THE FVCK!

"Who summons me?!" the emperor yelled.

"It's me, nigga." Izuku replied.

"Nice to meet you, nigga. I'm Toshiba."

"That's not what I meant…"

"I know very well what you meant, you ignorant piece of shit." Toshiba said, "You think we didn't have black people ten thousand years ago?"

"So you were also calling them niggas?"

"Actually, no. We called them niggERS. But it's very similar, so I figured you might be referring to that word."

"Cool, man."

"Anyway, seeing that you were able to enter this tomb, I guess you must be a true fisting master."

"Idk, lol. I just like to fist everybody."

"And that's exactly what makes someone a fisting master." Toshiba stated, "Now, state your business, young lad."

"I need help fighting aliens."

"Hmm…" Toshiba started thinking, "Do they have tentacles?"

"Yeah, plenty."

"Oh shit… anything else you can tell me?"

"I was told that they have chainsaws for dicks, and their only weaknesses are their assholes."

Toshiba listened carefully, and then immersed himself in thoughts.

After a short while, he finally spoke:

"What's your name, boy?"

"Midoriya Izuku."

"Izuku… You might be a fisting master of this era… Maybe there haven't been any other fisting masters except us two… But what makes us different is that I've practiced the art of fisting for years. You are still young. I believe you should learn everything by yourself, when the right time comes."

"Teach me that shit or I swear I'm gonna swear."

"Hey, no need to get aggressive."

(this is the point when I got so sleepy I couldn't think of anything)

"Well?"

"Shut your yap, you piece of shit." Toshiba said, and then he cast a spell, "Abracadabra, my dick looks like a candelabra. Woop, woop, swippity swoop, I really have to poop. Nigro Niger Nigger Nigga Black Person African-American…"

"? ? ?"

And then, Izuku felt something… his power level was so high, that if you could see it, you'd say "Damn, that is one big-ass power level".

Meanwhile on the surface, the aliens have reached the tomb.

"How the fuck did they find us?!" Mina shouted, looking around at the group of aliens that was surrounding them.

"They must have found out that we know about their weakness, so they came to kill Izuku before he receives a power boost from Toshiba Anime Hentai!"

"HhHhhAhHAAhaAHA!1111asd[asdasd" the leader of the alien group laughed, "We will destroy the one that you call Fisting Master! But first, we can RAEP u all!"

"Gtfo like omg I don't want to get fckd by tntcls!" Ochako cried.

'GET TENTACLED!" The aliens shouted and rushed towards the girls. They tried to fend them off, but the aliens were invincible. Ochako and the others were brutally grabbed and had their pants ripped off. The tentacles were THIS close, but then… the earth quaked…

SUDDENLY LIKE OH MY FUCKING GOD! Izuku launched from beneath the ground and landed in the middle of the fray.

"Who the fuck are you?!" the aliens asked, "No way… are you…"

"Oh damn…" Izuku sighed, "I arrived a few seconds too early."

"?"

"Could you, like, continue with your tentacle rape, and I'm gonna go back down there, and to make it more epic, start with their vaginas and then, when they scream, go for their mouths…"

"? ? ?"

"… and then, when you're about to penetrate their anuses, I'm gonna be like "No! Those anuses are MINE!" and I'll jump here again, and you'll be like "Oh no! It's Midoriya Izuku, not him!" and I'll be like "That's right, fuckers!" and then we'll have a very epic fight, and I'm gonna win in the end.

Both the girls and the aliens looked at Izuku the way your mom would look at you after catching you masturbating to 3D Hentai Porn Videos.

"No!?" the girls shouted simultaneously.

"Okay…" Izuku said quietly.

Meanwhile, the aliens were like wtf, but then they realized that Izuku means trouble, and they had to destroy him.

"Attack this green-haired piece of shit!"

But then, a red flash flashed in Izuku's eyes, like in those very epic anime scenes, and he fisted all of them in a blink of an eye.

The aliens exploded from having their anuses fisted, and the girls dropped on the ground (because, as you may already know, in all tentacle scenes in hentai, the tentacles always grab the females and raise them a few meters above the ground. ._. I don't know if it's good or not that I know such things…).

Anyway, after they got up, they yelled at Izuku for encouraging aliens to rape them.

"Yeah, yeah, I know it wasn't very gentlemanly of me…" Izuku admitted, "By the way, you've got no pants."

It was in fact, very true, and very embarrassing for the females (trying hard to find a better synonym for "girls"). They had no pants, and no means of getting new ones.

But then they realized that if the aliens were able to reach them here, it meant that Japan had been destroyed. Kek. At least Izuku got his power-up.

"How are we supposed to get back to Japan?" Izuku asked.

"Don't worry, Deku." Toru replied, "I heard that Momo's got a plan, hehehe!"

"Oh yeah?"

Izuku looked at Momo.

"M-My plan was to swim across the ocean." Momo said.

"HMMM."

"What? It's a good idea! If we swim very, very fast, we'll be able to…"

"Alright, anyone else?"

Kyoka raised her hand.

"Yes? … what was your name again?"

"… really?"

"Well I don't think we've had a single conversation in the entire show, so…"

"I'm Kyoka Jiro, and I've got a very cool idea."

"I'm listening."

"If we swim across the ocean not just very, very fast, but EXTREMELY fast, we'll be able to reach Japan in no time."

"I like this idea." Izuku nodded, "Let's do this."

"But…" Momo whispered, "My idea was pretty much the same…"

"NOBODY CARES!"

And so Izuku and the pantless girls travelled to Japan, to destroy the aliens once and for all.

 **To be continued...**

This story is coming to an end, soon. It's gonna take two or three chapters before it ends, depending on how long I'm going to make them. I've got a really cool final battle prepared for you all. I'm sure you all weirdos will enjoy it. Anyway, you can all suck my peen. See ya in the next one!

PS: All homo ships from My Hero Academia are absolutely gay and you can't deny it, no matter how hard you try.


	10. Glowing Balls (?)

**/Life Tip no. 1 – the best way to solve any of your problems is to just kill yourself.**

 **Also, this should have been posted like three days ago, but other stuff kept me distracted all the time./**

Izuku and the others swam across the ocean to Japan. They swam so fast that it took them practically no time. When they arrived at the shore, they saw absolute destruction.

The entire land of Japan was in ruins, there were corpses scattered everywhere, and ominous spaceships were hovering high above the clouds. Even though the whole country was annihilated, alien infantry troops could still be seen, patrolling and scavenging.

"We're too late..." Ochako gasped.

"I can't believe the whole fucking country was destroyed..." Mina said in wobbly voice.

The other girls cried, as it seemed that there was no hope. Seeing this, Izuku tried to cheer them up a little.

"Now, now, it's gonna be fine…" he said.

"It's not gonna be okay, we're all gonna die." Ochako said, "They will penetrate us with their nasty tentacles."

"Yeah, like, tentacles are very weird." Toru added.

"I agree." Kyoka nodded, "I still can't believe that some people are actually into those."

"Those people are freaks." Mina said, "Ain't that right, Deku?"

Izuku gulped, "Yes, haha… tentacles are for freaks…"

"I know, right?" Ochako said, "Everyone who likes tentacles in hentai is a degenerate pervert."

"That's very true, hahaha!" Izuku lied.

"Alright, what's the plan, now that we can't even get any help from the pro heroes?" Tsuyu asked.

Everyone pondered the potential solutions to their little alien problem.

"I've got an idea!"

"Who said that?" Mina asked.

"… me." Momo replied.

"Please, exclude yourself from here, thank you."

"What? Where am I supposed to go?"

"Anywhere, just stand back as we come up with a plan."

Momo sighed and left the group.

"I think I have an idea." Izuku said.

"Really?!" the others exclaimed.

"We need to sneak into the main spaceship, kill their leader and send a retreat order to all alien troops. We will set a delayed self-destruct protocol, which will activate once they leave Earth. They won't even have the time to discover that their leader is dead."

"Sounds like a bad sci-fi plot." Ochako said.

"I agree." Toru said, nodding, "Also, how do you know they have a leader? How do you know if they will listen to the order?"

"I'm more concerned about how we're going to sneak inside that ship and destroy their leader…" Tsuyu said.

Izuku smiled, "Don't worry. I will have everything under my control. The only problem is to find out which ship is the main one."

"Is it that one?"

Ochako pointed at a spaceship far away. It was like ten times bigger than the other spaceships.

"I guess the biggest one will be the main ship, right?" Ochako asked.

Izuku scratched his scrotum, "Yes."

":OOOO I'm so smart!"

"Guys?" Momo called them.

"Whattaya want?" Izuku asked.

"I kind of wanted to take a piss, so I went over to those bushes over there…"

"And? ? ? ?"

"And one alien saw me, and started chasing after me."

"What?!" Izuku shouted.

"You brought him to us?!" the girls screamed.

"No! Don't worry!" Momo said, "He stopped chasing after me when he noticed that I was with you."

Suddenly, and alien showed up from behind a building. There was like a hundred aliens behind him.

"Over there! There's that female and her friends!" the alien in the front said, pointing his tentacle at Momo and the others.

Their tentacles were so THICC, that if they entered your asshole by any chance, trust me, you would beg for death.

The aliens ran towards Izuku and girls (who were hiding behind him), but then, something absolutely fucking unimaginable happened.

Ace from Powerpuff Girls joined Gorillaz in their new album! Like, ain't that crazy?!

But back to the actual fucking 'story', Izuku blinked behind the aliens, and he was so fast, that when he said "Omae wa mou shindeiru", the aliens didn't even have a chance to say "Nani?!". Their asses were fisted faster than you could say "Detroit Smash".

The aliens collapsed, and then exploded with shit.

"Holy CRAP!" the girls dropped their jaws to the floor.

"Who cares about their leader! You can just wipe out their entire army, Deku!" Ochako laughed.

Meanwhile, Izuku was breathing very heavily. He lost his balance and almost collapsed, but Tsuyu grabbed him on time.

"What's wrong, Deku?" she asked.

"Toshiba warned me about this…" Deku gasped.

"?"

 _A very cool flashback to a previously unseen chunk of the dialogue between Izuku and Toshiba Anime Hentai._

" _Just remember, Izuku." Toshiba said, rising his finger, "If you overextend with your freshly gained power, you will lose a lot of energy."_

" _Okay."_

 _End of the flashback, what did you ex-_

" _Wait a second you piece of shit, I ain't done yet." Toshiba said, interrupting the narrator._

" _How can you interrupt the narrator?" Izuku asked, "That doesn't make any sense from a time continuum standpoint."_

" _Who gives a shit."_

" _:O"_

" _Anyway, one last thing before you leave." Toshiba lowered his voice, "I know for a fact that one cannot simply become a fisting master like that…"_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _I know what caused you to become one. Because it happened to me as well."_

" _?"_

 _And at this point, the flashback mysteriously ends, so that I can reveal the big secret later in the chapter for a cool plot twist HAHAHAHA YOU PIECES OF SHIT!11_

(COUGH) I'm sorry guys. The flashback narrator is kind of a retard, as you can see.

"And that's why I can't use this power too often." Izuku explained.

"Sucks, but what you gonna do?" Mina said, "Nobody is forcing you to fist them all at once. We can try to isolate them one by one, if we have to."

"That will take forever." Ochako said.

"Don't worry." Izuku said, releasing himself from Tsuyu's support, "We should head to the spaceship, avoid as many battles as possible, and once we get there, we'll think of something."

And so they went to the spaceship, which was about twenty miles away. Unfortunately, because of the total destruction everywhere, it was difficult to hide, so they had to fight every single alien on their way. That is, Deku was doing all the job, while the others were cheering.

When Deku destroyed the last group of aliens on their way, he could not stand straight anymore, so he just lied down on the ground.

"I'm sorry guys…" he gasped, "This is the limit of my power…"

"You mean the power that that Toshiba gave you?" Mina asked.

"He didn't give me shit… he just increased the output of my own fisting power."

"Maybe try to sleep a little, and your power will recover?" Ochako suggested.

Izuku shook his head slowly, "It won't do. This power does not recover, it's not renewable."

Izuku sighed. The girls looked at each other with concern.

"Heh… I guess I won't be able to fist anyone else in my life."

"What are we supposed to do then?" Kyoka asked.

(Holy shit watch out guys, now it's time for revealing the secret at the end of that flashback)

"I was hoping it would not come to this…" Deku said, "But even though my power does not recover on its own, there is in fact a way to regain this power."

"Really?!" the others smiled.

"Yeah, but… it's pretty fucked up."

"Like, duh?!" Toru laughed, "This is not unexpected."

"True." Izuku nodded, "Anyway, remember that none of us actually knew why I became like that?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Toshiba Anime Hentai told me what had caused me to fist everyone. It was…"

"?"

"… caused by Ochako, who kicked me in the balls in the first chapter."

(four seconds of painfully awkward silence)

"Uh-huh." Mina uh-huhed, looking at Ochako, who was a bit embarrassed, "Does that mean that…"

"Yeah." Deku nodded, "In order to restore my power, you have to kick me in the balls."

"Like this?" Toru asked and STEPPED on Izuku's DICK, like holy crap.

"AARGH!" Izuku screamed, "Oh my fucking God, that hurt!"

"But you said…"

"Not by surprise, damn it! Let me prepare!"

"How do you intend to prepare for THAT?!" Kyoka asked.

"I'll think of something nice, that will help me endure the pain. Meanwhile, you have to kick me in the balls, all of you."

"Is this really necessary?" Tsuyu asked.

"Yeah, we can always just have Momo do it." Mina said.

"Why me?!" Momo trembled.

"No." Izuku said firmly, "When I say 'go', you all start to kick me in the balls. No matter how loud I scream, alright? And DON'T stop, even if it looks like I'm dead."

"Uhh…" Ochako muttered.

"So how do we know when to stop?" Momo asked.

"This is a good question." Izuku replied, "I don't know. Just GO!"

And then, Izuku closed his eyes and thought of that one cool Skyrim questline *BANG* where you had to break into *SMASH* that one big mansion and steal some shit and *KICK* burn those fucking beehives, and then *FUCKING SMASHHHH* holy fuck the pain, anyway, then you had to *BAM* OH MY GOOODDDDDDD!

Even though Izuku's screams were extremely loud and the pain he felt was excruciating, the girls had to continue kicking his balls. Well, it's not like they enjoyed it, either. They felt really bad.

Except for Mina, who was having the time of her life.

"Alright, stand aside!" she yelled.

The girls stepped aside, giving Izuku a mere two seconds of break. After that, Mina ran towards Izuku's crotch from a few meters distance and kicked his balls while running. Like, imagine her running towards an actual football, to kick it far away. Now replace the football with Izuku's balls.

This one kick was so fucking hard, that Izuku raised himself like in a seizure and released a muffled screech. And then he collapsed again, with no signs of life in his body.

"Holy fuck, we killed him." Ochako gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Bullshit, look at him." Mina poked Izuku's head with her foot, "See? He moved."

"You moved him, idiot!" Toru shouted.

"I don't like this… I don't like this at all, guys!" Kyoka said, shuddering.

"Calm down!" Mina shouted, "Didn't he say that we should not even if he looks dead?"

"I… don't think that's gonna work…" Tsuyu whispered out.

Everyone was very upset and terrified. Meanwhile, Momo approached Izuku's body and noticed something.

"Hey, girls…" she said.

"WHAT?!" The other girls shouted.

"His balls… they kind of… glow."

The other girls rushed towards Izuku's balls to see it, trampling over Momo.

"They really do!" Ochako gasped.

"It must be MAGIC!" Toru said.

"See? I told you we should continue, cunts." Mina said.

"But… my legs hurt…" Kyoka whined.

"If those aliens find us, your leg won't be the only thing that will hurt you." Izuku gasped.

"DEKU! ! !" the girls shouted, "YOU'RE ALIVE?!"

"Idk, lol." Izuku replied, "Try to kick me one more time."

They got up, and Ochako just KICKED him like a motherfucker.

"And?" Ochako asked.

"… doesn't hurt." Izuku replied, shocked by the results, "It must be some kind of fisting magic. Kind of weird that its source is located in the balls, though."

"Yay, fisting magic! =^.^=" the others laughed.

"But I think we can squeeze out more power, just to make sure." Izuku stated, "Please, continue to kick my balls."

And so, they were kicking his balls for a few more minutes.

"You know, it's kind of a weird feeling, seeing you all stepping on my dick like that while it doesn't hurt. I could get used to it."

"Shut up or I will kick you in the face." Kyoka said.

"Please, go ahead."

"ARGH!"

Well after that ended, Izuku got up from the groud and swept the dust off of himself.

"Alright, I should try this power out, somehow." He said and looked around.

Everyone was pointing at Momo, and Momo was pointing at Kyoka, just because she was standing next to her.

"Momo, come over here." Izuku said.

";-;"

Izuku didn't even touch her ass yet, but the power of his fist approaching her ass was enough to make her unconscious.

"Lol." Izuku commented on that.

"Indeed." Ochako said.

They all decided that they must defeat the alien leader inside that alien spaceship. And that's why they sent Izuku alone, and the girls stayed outside and hid inside a fun little bunker, made of the concrete pieces lying everywhere. Comfy and cozy.

 **To be continued…**

I think that the next one will be the last chapter, guys. I don't know that for sure, yet, but I still want to thank anyone who has been following this one up until this point. Stay tuned for the next one, a possible finale for this story!

PS: Still reminding you that traps aren't gay.


	11. idk what the fuck is happening anymore

**/First up: FUCKING FINALLY! I managed to write it!**

 **Terribly sorry for this long wait. Too many things were distracting me from writing this. Also, studies.**

 **But, for a heads-up: this is not the last chapter yet./**

When Izuku entered the spaceship, he expected no one to be by the doors, but there were hundreds of aliens waiting for him. His entire sneaky plan to send a retreat signal got shat all over at that point.

However, he was very surprised to see that the aliens were not attacking him. In fact, they took him straight to their leader. He thought it was a trap at first, but the terrified looks on the aliens' faces suggested otherwise.

Izuku was led to a big hall inside the spaceship, filled with tentacles. At the opposite end of the hall, there was a throne of the alien leader.

"At last, we meet. Midoriya Izuku." The leader said, getting up from the throne.

"You sound pleased to meet me." Izuku responded, "Though your pals don't look too happy to see me here."

"My minions are scared of you. I sent the entire army after you, but then called them off when I saw how powerful you are."

"Heh…" Izuku blushed, "You know… I've been passing on fast food lately."

"I believe the power of yours is connected to something greater than good diet…"

The alien leader took a few steps towards Izuku.

"But where are my manners… My name is John, nice to meet you."

"For an alien leader, you have the least intimidating name I could ever imagine."

"… John Paul III."

"I take that back."

"Have you ever heard of John Paul II?"

"Yes, he was like the absolute badass back in the day. He died long before I was born, but I've heard that he mastered the Priest class, lvl 100, maxed out Charisma and Willpower, and everyone loved him."

"Well, I am his descendant."

Izuku had a mindfuck for a second.

"Wait a second… Priests can't have kids… they are celibates. Also, he was a human, and you're a fucking ugly alien with tentacles for arms and chainsaw for dick."

"Your ignorance amuses me." John stated, grinning, "But I guess your government had covered that up."

"What are you talking about?"

"Humans have had contact with the aliens before. With our race, to be specific. And the first human to meet our race was John Paul II himself."

"Holy fucking shit."

"Him and the leader of our race back in that time have met in 2001. Our leader, my grandfather, wanted to talk peace with John Paul II. However, John Paul II insisted that him and the entire Vatican would invade our planet and enslave us. To save our planet from destruction, my grandfather offered one thing, that the almighty John Paul II didn't have… his daughter."

"Your grandfather… his… daughter… WAAIIIIIIITT!"

"Please listen until the end." John said, "John Paul II was very happy to accept my grandfather's offer. He promised to never invade our planet, and my grandfather came back home, crying for the loss of his only daughter."

John swept the tear from his cheek with a tentacle.

"After a year, John Paul II lost interest in her, so he sent her back with his cosmic powers. She was pregnant with me."

Izuku didn't know what to say.

"This is my story. Ever since I found out about my origins, I wanted to take control of our army and destroy the Earth."

"If you despise John Paul II so much, why do you bear his name?"

"… that is a very good question."

"Let me guess – the author of this shitty-ass story didn't think of it until now?"

"That's right."

"No surprise here…"

"Anyway, I didn't bring you here just to share my past with you. I have something very important to tell you."

John stumbled for a second, as if in fear, but then continued:

"I am fully aware that I can't defeat you. Not even with an entire army."

"Do you want to surrender?"

"I can't do that."

"So you want to die?"

"I didn't say that. However, I cannot simply retreat. If I do, our actual master will kill me and the army."

"Lol you're fucked."

"No. That would be you."

"O rly?"

"Fucking take it seriously, damn it." John got pissed, "If me and my men return home without succeeding, the Tentacle Master will destroy not only us, but the entire Earth as well."

"Oh shit."

"The same will happen if he detects our failure here…"

John enabled his chainsaw dick.

"… and I'd rather die from your hand than feel the wrath of the Tentacle Master."

Izuku looked down, "… I see."

He then looked up to face John, activating his fisting power, "Then let's settle it."

John summoned the entire army from all the battleships to aid him in the battle. One by one, hundreds by hundreds by hundreds, they fell from Izuku's fist up their asses. Thanks to Izuku's glowing balls, the stock of fisting energy inside of him was much greater than before. It turned out that there was no need to be sneaky at all.

After taking down the entire fucking army of aliens, John fell to his knees.

"… we have failed." He sighed.

"Pretty much."

"This is supposed to be a serious scene, please learn to read the atmosphere, thank you."

"Oh, sorry."

"The Tentacle Master must have detected our failure. He's going to appear on Earth soon."

"How soon?"

"I dunno. 2-3 minutes?"

"WHAT THE FUCK?! Aren't you like from another galaxy?"

"He pretty fast, boi."

"Crap, what do we do?!"

"Well, first, kill me. Then we can talk."

"Oh, okay."

Izuku smashed his fist into John's asshole, and he exploded.

"So what's the plan? … oh, I see. That nigga tricked me."

Izuku was terrified of what this Tentacle Master would be like, but shit, he just defeated an entire alien army.

He left the spaceship and saw nothing. Lol, that nibba Tentacle Master must have lost his way. Feels great to save the world.

"Now, where are those bitches?" Izuku murmured to himself.

And then he spotted a little barricade made out of rubble.

He went inside and spotted a few things that belonged to the girls. But they weren't there.

"Dafuq is going on…?" Izuku thought and looked at the sky.

And then he spotted it. Ten enormous fucking tentacles were hovering over the city. They were as big as the entire fucking Europe.

Ochako and the others were running away, as far as possible.

"Why are we even running?" Kyoka asked, "If that thing crashes on Earth, we all die anyway."

They all stopped immediately.

"I don't know…" Ochako gasped, "I just froze up when that thing showed up on the sky, and when I came to my senses, my brain just told me to run."

"We're totally fucked!" Toru screamed, "How can anyone fight this?!"

"Maybe it just came to say 'hi'?" Momo asked.

"… yes, that's exactly why it came here." Mina replied.

"So what should we do?" Tsuyu asked.

They all gazed upon the ginormous tentacles above.

"… I guess it's all up to Deku at this point." Kyoka said.

"Again…" Ochako added.

"But…" Toru said in shaky voice, "What can he even do?"

…

Izuku realized that there was no hope. How the fuck is he supposed to fist that? Does it even have an ass? How does he prevent the Earth from being crushed to pieces?

Remembering all the great things in his life (like gagging Mei with his DICK) and all the bad things, too (like when he had a very long lose-streak in Heroes of the Storm)… Izuku decided on his fate. He put his earphones on and played NieR Automata OST – Voice of No Return, to make this scene so fucking epic that you could crap your pants.

Gathering all the strength in his balls, causing the earth beneath him to quake, Izuku jumped up to the sky. The trace of his jump was visible from afar. Ochako and the others gazed upon it, astonished at its beauty.

When Izuku got close to the Tentacle Master, he prepared his fist. He didn't even try to aim it. He was flying straight at the center. Timing the distance in his head, he put one fucking billion percent of his fisting power into his fist. Ten more kilometers… He made it ever more… one trillion fucking percent. Three, two, one…

…

 **To be continued…**

As you can tell, the next chapter will be the last one. I'm really curious to hear what you think about this one. Leave a review and we'll see each other again, in the finale.

Also, black people are black because they aren't white. #facts


	12. Crazy shit is going on up in this bitch

**/GUESS WHO'S BACK, FAGGOTS!**

 **I've had my last exam today, so I'm free to write more SHIT for you all.**

 **After a whole fucking month of waiting, here's the final chapter of this story. In case you don't remember the "plot" after such a long waiting time, here's a quick recap:**

 **Are you kidding me? Go back and read the previous chapter again, you bitch-ass nigga./**

September 11, 9:37 PM

Deku woke up, surrounded by his friends. He didn't quite know how he managed to survive that blast, but it made him happy to see everyone safe.

"Hey." He said slowly.

"Hi." Ochako said quietly.

"My dick hurts…"

"Oops, sorry…" Mina moved aside, "It's a little crammed in here."

"That's better. Also, how did I survive? There's no way Ochako was able to touch me before I hit the ground."

"With a little help of weed, everything is possible, Deku." Ochako replied.

".. I'm not even gonna argue with that."

Midoriya switched to a sitting position. He noticed that they were sitting in some inflatable rubber-tent or some shit like that. He couldn't see through its walls.

"Where the fuck are we?" he asked.

"Momo created this bubble for us using her quirk." Tsuyu replied.

Izuku looked at Momo, who waved at him, smiling.

"Uh-huh. But for what?"

"Umm…" The girls tried to find the right words.

"Come here, Deku." Said Toru, who was sitting at the opposite end of the bubble, "There's a little window behind me. You can take a look outside, but… you might not like it."

Kyoka sighed, "He's not gonna like it for sure."

"Umm, okay, coming." Izuku said and then tried to reposition himself over to Toru's current location.

"Ow!" Ochako squeaked, when Izuku accidentaly kicked her.

"Oops, sorry." He said.

"Let me just…" Mina tried to move aside, but Midoriya was supporting himself on her knee and he dropped down, "Oh God, sorry, Deku!"

"Don't worry… dafuq am I touching?"

"Hands off!" Kyoka yelled.

"Shit…"

"Damn it, just… give me some space."

When Deku finally managed to squeeze himself through, he bumped into Toru, which made her lose her balance and fall on the wall of the bubble. It didn't break the bubble, however, it caused the ceiling to lower drastically, and everyone inside had to bend down until Toru and Deku managed to get up.

"Well, now that THAT'S over, I can finally look behind this window… oh shit."

The view outside was very "oh shit"-worthy. There was a ginormous hole in the sky – no clouds, no blue tint, just nothing.

"What the fuck is that giant hole in the sky?!" Deku shouted.

"Ask that yourself." Kyoka said.

"U dumb bitch, it's not his fault." Ochako reprimanded her.

"Wait a second…" Izuku said, "Don't tell me that I did that…"

"Well, to be honest: yeah, you did that." Mina clarified, "But look on the bright side, Deku!"

"?"

"The world would have been destroyed anyway, and you've managed to delay the annihilation of mankind by an hour or so!"

"Wow." Izuku nodded ironically, "Great."

"Now the atmosphere will be sucked out into space and the Earth will implode, and we won't be able to withstand the cosmic gravitational pull and it will consume us and the pressure will be too high to survive it." Momo said.

"Are you kidding me?" Izuku said.

"No, she's right." Toru FARTED (I'm sick of the word 'said'), "Vsauce said it in one of his videos."

"Jesus Christ…" Izuku sighed, "I can't' take this anymore…"

Ochako placed her hand on Izuku's shoulder, "Don't worry, Izuku, we're here with you."

"And that's the problem."

"Huh?"

"This fucking bubble, I can't take it anymore. I can't breathe. I can't even scratch my fucking DICK in here."

"We're running out of oxygen, it's true." Mina said, "But at least we're going to die together, at the same time."

"… Fuck that, let me out of here."

Izuku grabbed the walls of the bubble and ripped them a new one, despite the shouting of the girls who tried to prevent him from doing that.

Suddnely, the bubble exploded and they all were dying due to the lack of oxygen. Then the hole in the sky got bigger and sucked the entire Earth into a black hole. Cuz it turned out that the punch that Izuku used against Tentacle Master not only made a huge hole in the atmosphere, but also opened up a black hole or a portal to another dimension. Like I don't fucking know.

Anyway, the hole SUCKED them inside. The SUCTION was so powerful that I can't describe it. The SUCKAGE was sucking so hard, like your mom on my dick last night.

After some time (which was approximately two seconds), Earth popped out on the other side of the hole.

Izuku and the others were DEAD, because they had no oxygen.

Fortunately, a squad of friendly alien creatures with apples for arms and lollipops for dicks found their corpses and took them to their Revival Chamber and they revived them.

"GAAAAAAHHH!" The kids all woke up in the same time.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Izuku shouted.

The alien that revived them smiled.

"Don't worry, you're safe now." He said, "Your belongings are over there in the corner."

He pointed at a stack of clothes. They all noticed just now that they're all naked and you could see their bare asses. 0o

"Could you please pass those clothes to us, you… alien creature? Thanks." Ochako asked, embarrassed.

"Oh, sure." The alien replied, "Just let me use my fucking apple arms and pick them up for you. That will work."

"If your arms are so shit, how did you remove our clothes in the first place?" Kyoka asked.

"Ask the author of this fucking story, I'm done. I'm fucking done." The alien got pissed.

"Hey, wait! We didn't mean to offend you!" Toru shouted.

"No, it's not you. I just realized that my existence is a joke. It's a fucking prank played on me by the God. My entire species is a genetic failure, a nature's cruel fucking prank, a complete and utter shitshow, like what the fuck? We can't grab anything, because our arms are FUCKING APPLES?! But apparently, we can retrieve corpses of random humans floating in space and resurrect them in our _Revival Chamber?!_ What the FUCK even is this?! How did we accomplish a possibility to bring dead organisms back to life, but yet we can't GRAB a single thing?! And don't even let me start on our LOLLIPOP DICKS!"

The kids went silent for a second after the alien finished.

"Damn." Izuku gasped, "Your life is really fucked."

The alien turned around to face Izuku, "Yeah, it is."

"But I've got a special solution for people… aliens like you."

"I'm afraid nothing will help me."

"No, trust me. It's a great one."

Ochako whispered into Izuku's ear: "Deku, what the hell are you talking about?"

To which Izuku replied with: "Shhh! I know what I'm doing."

The alien didn't hear what they said, but was intrigued by Izuku's solution.

"Please, tell me. What do I have to do? I don't want to suffer any longer."

"The answer is simple: you just need to kill yourself."

"Deku!" the girls shouted.

"What are you saying?!" Mina yelled at him.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing." Izuku said, calmly.

The alien considered what Izuku said.

"It's true…" he said, "There is no other option. But there's a problem. I can't tie a noose."

"There's a simpler method. Launch yourself into space without any equipment."

"That's gotta be it! Thank you, human!" The alien smiled, "I will now proceed to kill myself. You can stay here on this planet and do whatever the fuck you want. Thanks, and bye!"

The alien ran outside.

The girls were looking at Izuku.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Why did you tell him to kill himself? This is a very destructive thing to say to somebody who is depressed!" Tsuyu stated.

"It's because I have a plan. But let me just grab those clothes, first."

Izuku got up from the thing he was sitting on and approached the corner of the room. By doing this, he exposed his MAGNUM DONG to the others, making them question if Satan was real or not for a second.

After they got dressed and left the building, they saw a huge, advanced city. And the genetically screwed aliens, too.

Izuku then started to explain his plan to the girls.

"Alright, listen up." He said, "I'm going to convince all aliens on this planet to kill themselves."

"And why would you do that?" Momo asked.

But unfortunately for her, Izuku didn't give a crap about what she was saying.

"Why do you want to kill all the aliens?!" Mina asked.

"I'm not going to _kill_ anybody! They're gonna do it!"

"BUT WHY?!" all of them shouted at the same time.

"Just look at them!" Izuku pointed at a group of aliens, "They're all miserable, and they want to die. They just need a little push, you know. A little encouragement."

The girls looked at the aliens, who were walking around the streets aimlessly. Some of them were losing their balance and collapsing, and the sight of them trying to get up, using their apple arms, was heartbreaking and disturbing at the same time.

"… alright." Ochako said, "I guess there's no other choice."

This surprised Kyoka, "Really? But it's still mass genocide."

"Whatever lol let's go and talk some aliens into suicide." Toru suggested.

"Yeah! Let's tell them all to end their lives to end their suffering!" Mina exclaimed.

"This is sickening, but I don't see any alternative, either." Tsuyu added.

Kyoka sighed, "Fine, but I'm going to need a therapy after that…"

"You can ask Deku to fist you, Kyoka." Momo said, "That reminds me, when was the last time Deku has fisted anybody?"

"?"

They all looked at Momo.

"What? Wasn't this fanfic supposed to be about fisting?"

"You're actually right, Momo." Deku replied, "We didn't have enough fisting lately."

"Well, you can fist the others after we get rid of…"

"That, too. But for now, you're getting a FIST up your ASS!"

And then Izuku (to be honest, everyone already knows how it goes, so I'm just going to paste this random-ass Bible fragment.)

 _If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them._

It has nothing to do with the situation given, and I don't endorse it in any way, but I still think it's fascinating that it's in the Bible.

Anyway, after Deku finished fisting Momo, he and the not-fisted girls went around the city to spread the knowledge about suicide (meaning, how you commit it lol), and soon the aliens were spreading it among themselves. After a few days, the whole planet was wiped out of the friendly apple-armed, lollipop-dicked aliens.

Izuku took control over the entire planet. Him and the others could resurrect themselves over and over again in the Revival Chamber, and they could eat anything, because there was a magical Taco Bell right in the middle of the city. He put up 2137 giant flags everywhere, which said 'Tak jak pan Jezus powiedział", which meant "Hot bitches and chicken" in the alien language. (don't ask)

After a few weeks, however, Izuku was tired of all that crap.

The others saw it when he was walking around, alone. They approached him and tried to cheer him up.

"What's wrong, Deku?" Ochako asked, "Isn't this what you always wanted?"

"You've become the number 1 hero!" Mina added, "You saved like a billion fucking aliens from eternal suffering!"

Izuku sighed, "I know, but…"

He looked at the horizon. The wind blowed, gently.

"I'm sick of eating at Taco Bell all the time."

"Urgh, and here we thought that you're depressed or…"

"Cuz I am!" Izuku raised his voice a little, "I hate Taco Bell. I DESPISE Taco Bell. I'm honestly in a loss of words how much I hate Taco Bell. Words can't even DESCRIBE how much I hate Taco Bell. To be honest, I don't think there are any words in any dictionary that are able to express just how much I HATE Taco Bell."

"But…" Ochako murmured, "There is a whole setup of restaurants just around the corner."

"?"

"She's right, "Toru added, "There's like Burger King, Pizza Hut, and even a fucking Whole Foods, and the list goes on."

"… are you shitting me?"

"I guess there's no reason to be sad anymore, right?" Ochako smiled.

"I guess…"

Then, a lightbulb popped up above Mina's head.

"I've got an idea!" She said, "How about Deku fists all of us, huh?"

"It's 9 in the morning, I don't think it's a good idea." Toru said.

"Besides, I'm not gonna fist you. You're a bunch of weebs." Deku stated.

"Says a guy who faps to hentai everyday on every occasion." Mina replied, and everyone laughed, except for Izuku.

"Ohhhh, u didn't say that." He got pissed.

"Ye, I did. What r u gonna do, lil bitch?"

The thing is, despite the fact that it was only Mina who directly insulted Izuku, and despite the fact that she was the only one who wanted to engage in fisting sodomy at 9 AM, Midoriya's full cowl was already active, and the girls knew very well that the inevitable fisting awaits them all. The sounds of anal agony echoed throughout the alien city, and then, Izuku went to Whole Foods, took a shit in the middle, left without saying any word, and then went to eat a kebab.

 **THE END**

Honestly, I didn't think I'd be able to properly finish this story.

…

And as it turns out, I outdid myself. Bravo, Kream45. The shitposting in this fanfiction has ascended so much that it basically lost any sense, if it had any from the start. Way to go. But to be honest, I like how it turned out. I hope you like it as well. And I hope you like to touch yourselves as well.

Anyway, thank you to all who have read this up to this point. This story may be over, but remember, that traps aren't gay here you go I said it, I said it again.

See you all in the next one!

PS: Also, just for funsies, these are my notes that I made for this chapter, when I started writing and stopped after a few hundred words to finish my exams:

 _think of an ending that makes sense_ – I think I already knew at that point that this was no going to happen

 _also re-read it all for mistakes_ – you think I'm going to do that? At 2 AM? Are you fucking nuts, Kream45 from the past?


End file.
